Maxim

I'M crying right now. Have lump feeling in my throat. I need to take a pause from browsing, but I can't. I'm waiting for my husband to come home and just... take care of everything till I piece myself together.

And they gave Kamala Harris so little time... it was amazing what she SUCCEEDED in this amount of time. It was so not fair... HOW it all happened. She DESERVED a lot more TIME.

I'm not only shocked... and disgusted... and horrified... but I'm also mourning the dream of what could have and should have been. This is the hardest. Every time I glimpse a photo of Kamala, I tear up. People let that amazing woman down. My heart is freaking breaking. I didn't know so many people in USA wanted a dictator and to live in a version of Russia.

I've been hearing random fireworks outside... here in Germany today... and it's disturbing as hell to me. I can't imagine what you guys must be feeling in the States right now. It's like some kind of a horror movie.

This.

In my birth country... phobists and maniacs are already cheering and saying - Bye bye to the gender this and that and woke this and that. They feel like they've won and that from this moment on they can parade with their homophobia and hatred. And they will. They will. I am not even going to be visiting my birth country from this moment on, maybe only If I have to for some reason. And all my relatives are there... my parents. They will all close their eyes like they always do and not react or if I say something... respond to me how this is USA and it will not affect us. Oh... IT WILL and it already is. They were all waiting for this. These vultures are around the world! God... just imagine what can happen with the war in Ukraine when Trump gets to power. That's when I start panicking and my heart rate goes up. This has potential to evolve into a catastrophe for humanity. And... just to remind us all... this is a person who jokes with Global warming like it's not a real thing. I hope I wake up in couple of hours and all of this is just a dream... and Harris won.

I didn't expect this to break my heart like it did. I can't stop thinking of how IT SHOULD have been and what could have happened if the right one was chosen. I'm having trouble accepting that I woke up to this. Maybe it's time to tune out of the web, so I don't annoy anyone with how I'm feeling. It's worse enough. For the people who voted for him - you've now got yourselves a CRIMINAL in charge!

I know... that all of you gave your all and fought for this TO NOT happen. And I am saluting you. You are my glimpse of hope in this wicked world.

Me screaming in the shower... is not at all undermining how bad it is for the people in USA right now. I am a human being, a married gay man... and I am truly horrified what will be happening in my country as a wave after this. It's also not difficult for me to understand - I know how people operate and human psyche... It's not difficult for me to understand (people have done this time and time again through the centuries sadly), but it's horrifying to BELIEVE that it's happening right now. And with this one again. I'm sick to my stomach.

I am going to scream. Hard. I am going to take a shower... And scream. This can't be happening.

I'm going on an internet and social media strike after today. I'll only use my laptop for work. I can't deal and read about this election anymore. I can't. I'm done. I don't want to see psychopaths being happy that they won. I don't want to deal with their bull. Emotionally destroyed. Done.

This is a nightmare. Like a literal nightmare. Even though I'm not living in the USA, I know what this will lead to. It will strengthen the homophobia and the far right mania that's arising around the world. My birth country just months ago accepted an anti LGBT law that forbids people to talk about being gay in schools. In 2024!!!! It made all kinds of gender and sexual orientation expression... Punishable. I was counting on Harris winning... In my last hope that Europe will not be turning back to misery and hatred... Now even in Germany... I'm scared. I'm scared what the whole world is going to turn into. I'm scared that with time I'm going to lose my freedom and my rights too. We have far right winning here too lately and they are really disturbing me. Maybe some day me and my husband will not be allowed to even have a marriage anymore. I don't know, but if this is allowed... This criminal to become the USA president... Then I don't know what else is going to happen in this wicked world. I can't even post anything anymore. My heart is skipping and going arhytmic from all the stress. I am disgusted beyond belief. I am not working today... I will barely function. God help us all.

I'm at this stage as well. Can't even drink water right now. I have work tomorrow and I may call in sick. The waiting is driving me nuts.

Not sleeping tonight too.

Today is the last day I eat bananas in my life. No more. No freaking more. I don't understand why, but it's like a roulette game when it comes to this. Some bananas are completely fine with my stomach... while some... destroy it and really hurt me beyond anything you can imagine. I think ripeness has something to do with it... the less ripe - the worst I'll have it. But yes, today I made the mistake of eating 2 bananas on empty stomach for lunch with some chocolate... and then for the next couple of hours I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. And guess what, it's not the first time. I've had to be taken to a hospital in the past after eating bananas... and yet I still do it... and still risk it, because it's 50/50 - some don't do anything negative to me. But yeah... today is the last day I am doing this childish picking the taste over health thing. No more bananas for me. The end of the era of the bananas! No more!

Thanks for sharing!

Rick and Bridget should be front and center if you ask me. Especially Bridget.

Big hugs to both of you... and let's all pray that... everything will come into place very soon.

I'm not surprised. The song is not great. The video is meh, but the song is just... hard to stomach. Not my cup of... whatever it is.

I'm distracting myself from the anxiety of the waiting... I decorated the apartment today for Christmas... and I really pray that I will also wake up and find out the nightmare (uncertainty and waiting) is over and Kamala Harris is the new president of the United States. There's just no way it won't happen. The opposite is unthinkable.