Jump to content

How I Hope LML Was Fired!


Recommended Posts

  • Members

Lynn Marie Latham stretched her heavy thighs out of her Mercedes as she schlepped her bags back to CBS Television City. She was a woman on the move, with things to do, storylines to hack up and actors to fire (or prop up).

As she waddled into the studio the air was thick, much like her midsection. "Stupid tradesmen" she thought to herself, "they haven't got any idea how terrible that accurate looking fake snow smells, don't they realize that you can just, like, not use snow and then have characters comment on how cold it is. Dammit why must I be the only creative one left in this business"

Her flats clicked an ominous thud as the heaviness of her cankles crushed the linoleum floor. Suddenly, she spied Don Diamont doing lunges in the hall. "Don! Baby how's it going, it's been forever" she cooed. "Lynn...er, I uh Lynn, listen, you do not want to be here, go home baby, it's not a good day."

"Nonsense!" she spluttered, "Today is a wonderful day, Me and Bernard and Vince and Marina and Lynsey are here to fix all the mistakes that the scabs did, I mean the show has just been AWFUL these last few weeks hasn't it?"

Beads of sweat glistened on Don's well defined eyebrows as he considered what to say next.

But it didn't matter as the rest of the cast emerged, already in full makeup and wardrobe. "My cast!" Lynn exclaimed! You're all here to welcome me back! And to think that those silly fans on SON didn't believe that you all loved me. Dear God! Group hug everyone!"

"No!" bellowed Jeanne Cooper, a woman of short stature but of considerable venom. "No Lynn! This is over! Pack your things and get the hell outta my studio!"

"You're studio, but Jeanne...you're quoting lines from 1998!"

"Dear God in Heaven I don't give a damn!" Jeanne hissed. "Get the hell out! Eric! Eric we need you"

Eric Braeden confidently walked through the crowd, like Moses parting the Red Sea. He stopped suddenly, slicked his thick hair back and struck a confident pose. Then, seemingly from nowhere Eric boomed "I WILL CRUSH YOU!"

"For God's sake, this cast is stuck in 1998...I wasn't even here!" she shrieked as she began to flee through the studio, a mob led by Melody Thomas Scott, in stilettos, trailing her.

As she ran she flew past each set: the Abbott mansion, Crimson Lights, the Newman Ranch, the Chancellor estate, Michael and Lauren's apartment, the Loft, the Athletic Club, the Jabot boardroom and Victor's office, among others. Memories flooded Lynn's mind...how had it all gone so wrong she wondered as her heart rate reached maximum capacity and she began to wheeze. "Damn Crispy Creme" she thought to herself ruefully, "Damn them to hell!"

At last she reached the parking lot, her Mercedes just within reach. Then, like a flash of sequined lightning, Jess Walton snatched the oversized belt clasped around Lynn's ample hips. "You Bitch!" cried Jess, "You destroyed Bill's legacy and insulted the fans, I have HAD IT with you dammit!" And with that a bitch slap was dealt like no bitch slap had ever been dealt before as Lynn slowly careened into oblivion as her corpulent body smacked the pavement....

In what could have been days later Lynn awoke in a boardroom eerily reminicent of Donald Trump's on The Apprentice. "What am I doing here?" she pleaded to the darkened faces confronting her. "You're here," uttered a sweet feminine voice, "because you insulted my husband, my sons, my daughter and myself". "Lee is that really you?" Lynn asked.

"Yes it's her!" screeched Barbara Bloom. "You know Lynn I gave you one hell of a gig. You had the number one show and you ruined it, now I'm the dumbass and you're the talentless rube. I can't deal with it Lynn, I just can't!"

"Nor can I" said a bespectacled man hidden by the shadows. "Who are YOU?" demanded Lynn, getting anxious as her polyester skirt began to tighten around her inflated posterior.

"It's Steve Kent and Lynn, I have two very simply words for you..."

And, with the flick of his wrist, Steve delivered the message that multiple fans had been dying to hear for 2 years: "You're fired!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 6
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.



  • Recent Posts

    • LOL...I do have the vaguest of memories of Katherine driving her and Phillip Sr to his death. But I don't recall Katherine being as over-the-top as Reva. Surprisingly, I don't even think Brenda Dickinson's Jill was---although lord knows Brenda probably is a real-life Reva. I have read the recaps of earlier Roger, and it surprised me that he doesn't love Holly. He had an affair with Hillary (SHOCK, I tell you, SHOCK when I read that one) while married to her.  Thanks to the cast turnover, other than Jerry and Maureen Garrett, there wasn't anyone else he had worked with, that I can recall. It would've been interesting if Mart Hulswit had still been in the role of Ed, how much more they might've let Ed/Roger clash. I really do have a soft spot in my heart for Krista's Mindy.
    • San Bernardino Sun, 21 July 1981 Soap gets a new lease on life By TOM JORY Associated Press NEW YORK (AP) NBC's Texas premiered Aug. 4, 1980, in the toughest time slot in daytime TV opposite top rated General Hospital on ABC and CBS' enduring -Guiding Light As recently as the first of this year, " Texas appeared doomed, a victim of barely measurable ratings. All that has changed, and the show approaches its first anniversary with a new executive producer, a new team of writers, a new look and a new slant on life. Even the ratings have improved a bit, from 14 percent to l5 percent of the audience in the time period in November and December to 15 percent to 16 percent today. "We have Houston like Ryan's Hope has New York City," says Gail Kobe who took over Texas as executive supervising producer in March,"and we feel a real tie with that city. We've got to reflect in the show what's happening in that real town, and I think we're doing that." It was a significant step, taking Texas- its roots in the fictional Bay City of NBC's Another World -to a real-life setting. "I don't think it's got to be  the kind of place that people can't can't find on the map," says Ms. Kobe "I think the audience in daytime is more prepared for reality today." It meant giving the show a recognizable Houston backdrop, a more contemporary sound -country and western performers like Ray Price will appear periodically and a lighting system that would clearly represent the hot, bright Texas sunlight. . Texas faced difficult odds from the start, the competition and the inevitable comparison with CBS' prime-time superhit, Dallas, notwithstanding. There was the problem of introducing a multiplicity of characters, many of them imports from Another World, as well as a story line, in an hour-long format. "It was the first show to start at an hour," says Kobe, a former actress who had been supervising producer for Procter & Gamble Productions, which owns Texas and five other daytime shows. "It's very difficult to fill that much time with a large cast, and not leave the viewer confused. "With a daily show, you have to let the audience know who to root for," she says. ''And if you're trying to begin a story, too, no one's going to keep track." The changes began even before Kobe took the show from Paul Rauch, who had faced the seemingly impossible task of producing both Texas and Another World simultaneously. Beverlee McKinsey, whose generally unpleasant character, Iris, had come to Texas from Another World as a young ingenue, was given back her mean streak.  "She had become a sweet woman,"Kobe says, "and the audience was used to seeing her do terrible things. It just didn't work." In addition, she says, time was spent establishing the identities of the characters. Joyce and Bill Corrington, who had created the show with Rauch, were replaced as head writers in February by Dorothy Purser and Samuel Ratcliffe.  
    • 1995 CBS was sold to Westinghouse and Les Moonves arrived at CBS. I pointed out 1995/96 Murder, She Wrote as sabotage in the Tank Jobs and Sabotage thread.  
    • I think Flannery did some great work, but I always found Stephanie's underlying hypocrisy off-putting. And while I don't think KKL's the world's best actress (I completely understood why she's received so little attention from the academy for her work), I do think that her appeal as Brooke was responsible for a lot of B&B's success.
    • FROM THE VAULT: DAYTIME TV SPECIALS: 1/1/73-12/31/73: A complete list of all rated Daytime TV Specials aired in 1973: Note: Not all Watergate sessions were rated.  

      Please register in order to view this content

      EXTENDED DATA: JANUARY 1973-JANUARY 1974 UPDATE FOR ALL SPECIALS SERIES: Here is the update added in to the February 3 post (which already has this info for February 1974-December 1979). The extra details (episode titles and cast) for the special recurring series (and additional data for a few other specials):  
    • You had to wonder what was going on when CBS moves a Top 10 show to a new night opposite one of the hottest shows of the moment. CBS was desperately trying to go young-it was the season of Central Park West -but it seemed short sighted. I suppose MSW represented the 'old' image they were trying to shed and it was probably expensive , but still... If they did want to freshen Sunday where else MSW be placed?
    • ICAM on the writers not really allowing Reva to develop and grow. There was no longer a reason for her to be greedy, but she's still the teen chasing after Josh with the irrational need to lie to "protect" him. I guess the writers were scared of losing what made Reva tick. Which I don't see how they could have, since Kim wouldn't have allowed that. I skip more Reva-centric stuff too. I've had to watch her scenes with Billy, but I'm solidly on his side. I missed Eileen Fulton's heyday as Lisa, maybe they would've come close. Sally (God bless Darlene Conley) is more of a caricature, but certainly fills the "outrageous/outlandish" vibe. I find Stephanie more mean and vindictive than anything. I agree, Lucinda in her prime probably comes closest.
    • Highest rated shows to be cancelled The Waltons, Lobo, BJ & The Bear, Checking In. I think The Waltons had run it's course and would only had dropped further if given another year. One of the select group that never changed timeslots. NBC should probably held onto Lobo as they didn't have many hits. It might have been useful programming Sat @8 paired with Barbara Mandrell or Friday opposite Dallas or left Tues @8 to be paired with Bret Maverick. Father Murphy could have been placed Thurs to attract The Waltons viewers. As for Checking In it was only 4 eps and the placement resulted from the 1st ep bumping up overall numbers. A spin off from a spin off was too much. Lowest rated renewals NBC Magazine and Hill St Blues. NBC had no luck getting a news show to work. They tried Weekend, Prime Time and the Magazine -still to come were Monitor and First Camera. Hill St caused a stir and raves from the critics so they wisely renewed it and it paid off. Like Flo the season before Private Benjamin/Two of Us couldn't maintain the ratings they garnered as late season short flight entries.
    • The implication that Rita saying Roger raped her was done for the sake of his rape trial with Holly is interesting, as that wasn't really the case. Maybe it was if you just watched the show, I don't know as I've never seen the episodes, but the Dobsons wrote it as a rape between Roger and Rita and then wrote the Roger and Holly rape in part because of the show turning what he did to Rita into a seduction. I did not realize the only reason the Roger and Holly rape material exists is due to the actors saving it. I guess P&G didn't start saving their material until very late in 1979, based on the German DVD release.
    • Y&R: June 2025 Discussion Thread
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy