Funniest "Late-Night" Interview Ever!

[KLN]

God Bless Amy Sedaris!

Amy: "If you fill your medicine chest with marbles and pennies before anyone comes over (anyone in your "family") and they're in the bathroom and they're going through the medicine chest, then those marbles and pennies will come out, hit the porcelain sink, it makes a huge noise, and then everyone knows who your junkie whore friends are."

Conan: "I've had friends who've gone over to your house for a party, and they told me that you'll put out a table and you'll sells stuff to them. Tell me about that. What kind of stuff do you sell?"

Amy: "Stuff I want to get rid of. Um, half bottles of lotion. Um... food. You know, I cater to my audience. If I know you have an addiction, I'll have something like that on the table. Um, dish detergent... wands. Whatever I want to get rid of."

Conan: "And you sell it for, like, 25 cents, 50 cents..."

Amy: "No. $0.25, because that pays for my laundry. Can't be two dimes and a nickel, can't be three nickels and a dime. It has to be a quarter. And that's how I pay for my laundry. I've never had a complaint, and I always sell out. It's a good way to get rid of stuff."

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Amy: "I like working with the public. I like it when their credit card is denied. I like it when they're angry... they think that they know it all."

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Amy: "One time, I had to do a photo shoot, and I wanted the guy to make me look like I got beat up, like I had a black eye. And I had to wait on tables later that night, and so everone thought I was an abused..."

Conan: "You left the makeup on?"

Amy: "Yeah. I mean, I paid $350 for it... heck yeah. I wore it for a couple days! Anyway, only one table asked me -- four gay guys -- asked me, 'Are you okay?' And I said, 'Oh, I'm in love and she's grrrreat!'"