Man. I haven't been able to get to this thread, because I didn't know what to say. What can you say, really? This sucks. I hope you know, Kenny, that you have all of us to turn to if you ever need us. I may have not been there from the early days, but I've been here for a while and it's gotta be hard. Real hard. Bad hard. All I'm going to say is you're going to have to make up with that old friend time. You're gonna need her. A lot of her. I know when I'm in that state of mind, there's no ever getting past it. Just know somewhere in the back of your mind or your heart, that you will. And hopefully, you'll be better for it.

*MUAH*

Kenny, sorry to hear about that. It is always tough going through this type of stuff.

Just know that it will get better and you will be ok. You are a great guy and I am sure the right guy is out there.

Take care man.

Man. I haven't been able to get to this thread, because I didn't know what to say. What can you say, really? This sucks. I hope you know, Kenny, that you have all of us to turn to if you ever need us. I may have not been there from the early days, but I've been here for a while and it's gotta be hard. Real hard. Bad hard. All I'm going to say is you're going to have to make up with that old friend time. You're gonna need her. A lot of her. I know when I'm in that state of mind, there's no ever getting past it. Just know somewhere in the back of your mind or your heart, that you will. And hopefully, you'll be better for it.

*MUAH*

*sniff*

Keith, what a sweet sentiment! I love ya.

I know how you feel Kenny. There is nothing worse than breaking up with someone that you truly love (well, other than someone you really love dying). Maybe I can give you some pointers as I've had to break up twice (once the relationship and second the friendship) with my ex-girlfriend.

The journal entry below will describe some of what I went through:

http://boards.soapoperanetwork.com/index.p...=2&showentry=29

Just know that eventually you will find someone who will make you more happy and you'll look back on this as a learning experience.

I just wanted to say that even though you feel hurt and all that right now Kenny, you should remember all the good times you shared with Billy. A lot of people have trouble finding love and it sounds like for a while you found it so to just be able to be in love for a while (whether it comes to an end or is everlasting) is a great feeling and even though it may be over with you and Billy, you still have your memories and nothing can change that.

Hope you get better and sorry if I gave shitty advice.

Kenny, I have no idea what I should say to you.

I feel bad and I am sorry to hear this, but you are a STRONG person, and you can and will get through this. Just stay strong!!!!

Here's an update.

Billy left yesterday, for good. He got the last of his things, and now he's gone. I made my grandma stay the night with me because I didn't want to face all of the silence. I took her home about an hour ago, though, and now I'm back here in this silent, empty apartment. Feels like death.

I still have all of 'our' things out on display. Some gifts he gave me. I know that I should put them away, but I can't bring myself to do that just yet. I read an old birthday card he got me, with the most loving message written inside. Again, I should put it away, but not yet.

Check out this stuff he wrote on his journal about me a few years back:

"Kenny's asleep in the other room... always so beautiful when he sleeps heh. Woke up this morning about an hour early and just laid there knowing I felt better being in his arms. Laid there, watching the minutes tick away, feeling that every moment was amazing and should be cherished. Yesterday was his only day off all week, and I'm going to miss him until I see him again. Whenever I'm away from Kenny, I feel a sense of dread... it's like time wrongly spent. But, I suppose that's the price I pay, since every moment I'm with him feels like an eternity."

"Last night, I discovered that beneath Kenny's smiley, cheery exterior, there is a fragile, beautiful man that needs to be loved and accepted dearly. He came out to the arcade, and we talked for a while. There was just something I saw about him as he talked; I was filled with sadness, and I just had the urge to hug him, and let him know everything was going to be all right. Close to closing, he had to leave for his grandma's. I hated to see him go. As he left around the side of the mall, a heaviness began crushing my heart, and it pained me not to be in his presence. Maybe this is what true love is all about? When you can feel both extreme joy and devastating sadness all centered on the same person at once? I don't know for sure... but I do know that I love you, Kenny. Please, don't ever let go."

Who the hell couldn't fall in love with that? And who the hell could so easily let go?

*sigh*

I'm making it, though.

Here's an update.

Billy left yesterday, for good. He got the last of his things, and now he's gone. I made my grandma stay the night with me because I didn't want to face all of the silence. I took her home about an hour ago, though, and now I'm back here in this silent, empty apartment. Feels like death.

I still have all of 'our' things out on display. Some gifts he gave me. I know that I should put them away, but I can't bring myself to do that just yet. I read an old birthday card he got me, with the most loving message written inside. Again, I should put it away, but not yet.

Check out this stuff he wrote on his journal about me a few years back:

"Kenny's asleep in the other room... always so beautiful when he sleeps heh. Woke up this morning about an hour early and just laid there knowing I felt better being in his arms. Laid there, watching the minutes tick away, feeling that every moment was amazing and should be cherished. Yesterday was his only day off all week, and I'm going to miss him until I see him again. Whenever I'm away from Kenny, I feel a sense of dread... it's like time wrongly spent. But, I suppose that's the price I pay, since every moment I'm with him feels like an eternity."

"Last night, I discovered that beneath Kenny's smiley, cheery exterior, there is a fragile, beautiful man that needs to be loved and accepted dearly. He came out to the arcade, and we talked for a while. There was just something I saw about him as he talked; I was filled with sadness, and I just had the urge to hug him, and let him know everything was going to be all right. Close to closing, he had to leave for his grandma's. I hated to see him go. As he left around the side of the mall, a heaviness began crushing my heart, and it pained me not to be in his presence. Maybe this is what true love is all about? When you can feel both extreme joy and devastating sadness all centered on the same person at once? I don't know for sure... but I do know that I love you, Kenny. Please, don't ever let go."

Who the hell couldn't fall in love with that? And who the hell could so easily let go?

*sigh*

I'm making it, though.

Aww Kenny...hang in there man...you will be ok. Just know everyone at SON is there for you and don't hesitate to contact me on AIM if you need to talk ok.