Lather Up: A Soap Opera by FS! It's back!!!

[FanSoAp07]

Ok, I already started this soap at SoapBlather (the other SON lol) and it has those people, like GeneralMobspital, in it. I've only posted 2 episodes there, so I'm going to catch yall up.

Every Thursday is a new episode.

Episode 1: (Christmas week)

Welcome to the “Big Easy”, also known as New Orleans, Louisiana. In a city where Mardi Gras is a traditional, exhilarating pastime, and the food is unmatched anywhere else in the world, the residents are only what they appear to be on the surface. Everything and everyone all have a little bit of evil, where the strongest last and the weak are eaten alive. These are their stories.

<Christmas Morning 2005. A cold, crisp day. The sun gleams from outside & the smell of coffee & beignets are evident all over.>

“Gooood Morning, New Orleans. MERRY CHRISTMAS! This is PX with the morning news. Here is the top story. While Santa was delivering presents last night, there seems to have been a double kidnapping on the 200 block of St.Charles Avenue. After thorough investigation, Channel 6 has learned that the two victims are husband and wife, Cat & Jade. Around 3 o’clock this morning a neighbor reported hearing yelling next door. When the police arrived at the scene, the couple was found to have been missing with a hostage letter found on the floor. The police will not give further information, but tune in for the latest information…..”

<Ring, Ring>……….<Ring, ring>……..<Ring, ring>…….<Ring, ring>……..

“Damnit, I’m coming.” “Hello! WHAT DO YOU WANT THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING?!?” “Excuse me, GM. You better adjust your tone.” “Oh, it’s you, Ron. Sorry. What’s wrong? It’s Christmas morning. I don’t have to be at work today.” “Don’t you think I know that? I’m your boss for crying out loud.” “Well, yes. I know that.” “Turn on your TV to channel six.” GM turns on the tv, gasps, and picks up the phone. “DO YOU SEE THIS?” Of course, dummy. Why do you think I told you to turn it on?” “Oh my gosh! Cat & Jade! They’re….they’re kidnapped!!!!?” Ron replies with a cold, relentless nature. “That’s not what I’m concerned about. I’m furious that they got the story before we did. That is FINAL. I don’t give damn if it is Christmas. GET DOWN TO THE STATION now.” “But sir…….we don’t do morning news…..” GM gets cut off. “….JUST DO IT!!!!!! We have morning news now. Channel 4 isn’t going to be number 2 anymore. We are going to start with morning shifts.” “But sir…” “NOW. Or you are fired.” The phone gets slammed down.

GM leans over and kisses Het. “Hunny, I have to go down to the station.” “Oh no you will not.” “But I have to….” “You are staying here. It is Christmas, GM. Is he crazy?” “I’m sorry. If I don’t go, then he will fire me.” “That son of a !@#$%^&*]. Fine. Go. Get the hell out of here.” “I’m sorry.” “You better be. If you don’t return by noon, then you know what I’m going to do.” “You know I can’t come here today. I have to go home to…..!” “Go THERE and I will make that phone call so fast that you won’t know what hit you.”

“AND CUT! Good job, PX!” “Wow! It’s 8:00 already. How time flies!” PX goes to brew a hot cup of coffee. PX starts to laugh as he thinks about GM. He lets out a big sigh. “Good times. Good times. I bet he is over there wondering why he didn’t get the story out before me. Well, it serves him right. He cheated his way through college anyway. We will always…ALWAYS….be number one. The day we slip to number 2, which will be….Um, NEVER!….is the day I show GM for the liar he really is.” PX laughs. “Merry Christmas to me.” He throws a picture away. We see a crumpled portrait of GM and a woman. We can’t make out the identity of the lady.

Hartless walks in her kitchen with a bag of hot, delicious beignets. “Yo, Cheap! Get your fat ass down here! I got you some beignets for Christmas, my homie.” Cheap21 comes running downstairs. “Mom! Stop with the trying to act cool crap. You can’t and will not do that anymore. It is embarrassing.” “I’m just trying to stay hip, sugar dumplings.” “Well, stop. Oh! By the way. You the one who has a fat ass. Not me!” Hartless starts to laugh uncontrollably. She starts singing. “What you gonna do with all the junk? All that junk inside your trunk. I’m gonna…..” “MOM! ENOUGH! You aint hip. You’re…..just not! Get over yourself.” “Well, Merry Christmas to you to. I was just being cool.” The two laugh together. “But I still love you anyway, mom. Merry Christmas!” Hartless shrieks when she opens her present! When she unwraps it, her face becomes open-mouthed. “It’s a locket of your father and me at the Christmas party 20 years ago.” She begins to cry. “Well since dad is always at work now….” She reads the inside. “PX & Hartless. December 25, 1985.” “Thanks, hunny! If only he were here and not at work….”

“I hate Christmas,” FS gripes. “It’s a frivolous holiday with merriment, carols, coffee, turkey, and presents….I hate happiness. I hate people. I hate Christmas.” He enters his company, N&O Law Firm. He walks to his desk and looks at his agenda for the first week in January. “Interview with Kelsey….I give her 5 minutes. She won’t last here. She’s a woman…”

Soapdiva walks out her door & takes out the “SOLD” sign. She smells the cool, crisp air. “It feels so good to finally move in…on Christmas!” Kirk & SBG walk out with their mom. Across the street, Bosox & her mother, Kelsey, watch out the window to see the new neighbor. The street sign reads “St.Charles Avenue.” Next door, Dr. Keith walks out as do his neighbors, Hartless & Cheap. In the middle of the cul-de-sac is Ron and his next door neighbor, FS. Everyone walks out. It begins to snow & everyone stares at the new neighbor, SoapDiva and her two kids, Kirk & SBG. They all know she was the one who called the police because her neighbors are none other than Cat & Jade! Their house is on the corner. Kirk asks, “Why is everyone staring at us?” PX drives up from the news station and says, “I don’t trust her as far as I can throw her.” FS talks to himself and says, “I’m glad they’re gone.” One by one, everyone walks to Cat & Jade’s house wondering who kidnapped them. Everyone is suspicious of SoapDiva. “Let’s go inside. It seems we have a mystery on our own little street.”

On the next Lather Up:

Dr. Keith makes a house call.

Best friends Cheap & Bosox go back to school. Kirk registers for the new semester.

FS interviews Kelsey.

The Cat & Jade case becomes more suspicious.

Episode 2: (The one I posted last week...Episode 3 this Thursday)

Episode 2:

“Mom, wake up! Wake up! Today is your interview with Mr. Fansoap.” BoSox pushes her mother, Kelsey, but Kelsey doesn’t wake up. BoSox gets right up to her ear. “MOMMMM” “WAKE UP” No response. Shes picks up the alarm clock. It reads 7:12. “She didn’t even set her alarm. She is off to a great start.” She chuckles. I have the perfect way to wake her up because I am not going to be late for school.” She heads to the kitchen and gets a cup of cold water. SPLASH! Kelsey pops out of bed and lets out a yelp!

“What the? Why did you pour water on me? I’m fr.rr.rrreeezinggg.”

BoSox starts to laugh incessantly.

“Mom, look at your calendar that I gave you for Christmas. What is today’s date?”

“December 29”

“And…..does this mean anything to you?”

“Nope”

“MOM!”

“What?!”

“YOUR INTERVIEW!”

“OH MY GOSH! Hunny! Why didn’t you wake me up?”

Bosox rolls her eyes. “Are you kidding me?” She laughs.

“Get out of bed,get ready, come eat, and fix your hair. You need to get a job, you lazy bum.”

“I believe I’m the mother here.” Kelsey laughs.

“You’re lucky you have me as a daughter, mom.”

“I know, hunny. I love you! Oh, good morning too, by the way.”

“I love you too, mom. Now hurry! I’m driving to school so I can continue practicing my driving lessongs.”

“School? It’s almost New Years!”

“Don’t you remember? We have to make up days from Hurricane Katrina.”

“GM, please come to my office.” Ron is seen reading a newspaper. When he puts it down, we see he is very, very angry.

“Yes, sir.”

“Read this article.”

“Cat and Jade: Jade found dead, but is not the husband as first thought!”

“NOT THAT, you fool. THIS!” He points to another section.

“Latest News Ratings: Channel 6: 9.7 Channel 4: 8.3”

GM gasps. “We rose .4 points! That’s good sir….” He looks down and sees Ron cracking his knuckles. He grinds his teeth. “…..I mean very bad. Very bad.”

“And 5…..4……3…..2……1…..Action.”

“Hello, it is currently 7:52 and here are the recaps of the top stories.” PX begins to give his recap.

“Now, we have just received a follow-up on our story four days ago about the kidnapping of Cat and Jade. As we learn more about the story, there seems to be many twists and turns. Cat and Jade were kidnapped as we first stated, but Jade is NOT the husband, as first thought. After numerous calls and interviews, Channel 4 has learned that Cat’s husband is none other than the new Dr.Daysboy of Oschner Hospital. They recently moved to St.Charles Avenue after losing their house to Hurricane Charley in Florida over one year ago. They came over to New Orleans, suffering only moderate damage to their new house from Katrina. As for “the presumed husband”, Jade, he was found dead behind an abandoned ally.”

Someone comes running behind PX’s News Desk holding a piece of paper that is extremely important for the Cat & Daysboy case. He slips and falls. He lets out a yelp.

“Oh [!@#$%^&*]!” PX yells. He turns to the camera, realizing that he just said “Oh [!@#$%^&*] on live television with thousands watching at that very moment.” He starts to sweat. “Ugh….please excuse what I just said….” He is interrupted. “Son of a !@#$%^&*]HHHHHHH,” the guy who fell yells. “I think I broke my damn leg!”

All of the camera people don’t know what to do.

Down the street, GM is watching and laughing uncontrollably!!!! “OMG! This is priceless! He doesn’t know what to do! He’s going to freak!”

“Ugh.huh..huuhh.ughh……Well, I guess I’m going to have to finish like this.” PX says, while he sweats.

“WHAT THE? Oh, sorry! The guy who fell handed me a paper saying, “Jade is not a man, but a woman!” As he is reading the sheet, a stretcher and paramedics are seen behind him, placing the man on it. “Hey, hunny!” one of the paramedics says.

“Well, that is all we have on the case. This is PX with the news…….a weird news, nonetheless, but please tune in for the Noon broadcast to find out the latest on the “Jade is a woman” case. Have a great day!”

“And cut!”

“Son of a !@#$%^&*]! What the hell was that?!? We are going to be the laughing stock of the city!”

GM is seen dying laughing!

Ding dong!

SoapDiva slightly opens to door, leaving a tiny, ity bity crack. She stutters. “Yesss…”

We see Dr.Keith. “Hello, mam. You called me to check up on your daughter, SBG. You said she may have a cold.”

“Aye, yes. I did, didn’t I? Well, come in. Come in.”

Slow motion as Keith walks in (that mysterious creepy way they do slow motion)

The door slams behind him.

“SBG, get down here this instant,” Soapdiva screams.

Keith takes a step back, thinking she is crazy for yelling like a mad woman.

“What the hell do you want?” When she sees the doctor, she runs back upstairs.

“Oh no you don’t”

Soapdiva runs and retrieves her.

“NO. I won’t! I told you I’m not sick, damnit!”

“You will go now, darling. I want you to get better so you can go to school.”

Keith yells, “GET DOWN HERE NOW, you little brat.”

Everybody stops.

Strange silence.

Keith talks to himself. “Please don’t tell me I just yelled that out loud. Not again! I must stop these outbursts.”

“Mom, did he just yell at me?”

“Yes, he did. Nobody yells at you except for me.”

“Excuse me, sir. You better have a good reason for just having that outrageous outburst to my daughter.”

“Why, I don’t know. I don’t know what came over me. I’ve been….ugh…..under stress lately. Yes, stress. Please excuse me.” Keith smiles, knowing that he is lying. It was just an excuse because he has been on vacation the last two weeks, so he is not stressed.

“Now open up, SBG.”

“Get your nasty ass hands out of my mouth.”

“Open up.”

Soapdiva is upstairs, getting ready.

“NO.”

“Open up please.”

“I said NO!”

We see Dr. Keith getting really mad.

“I’ll give you one more chance. Now please open your mouth.”

“NO! Do have to spell it out for you? I said NO”

“Damnit! I said open you damn mouth, Now OPEN IT, you little brat.”

Keith jumps on SBG and grabs her mouth.

“DR. KEITH. WHAT the hell are you doing to my daughter? Get your hands off of her, before I have you arrested.”

Dr. Keith lets go, and appears to be in shock.

“Get out.”

Keith gets out and is speechless for what he just did. We see his eyes; they are red.

Het wakes up. She looks over and sees that GM is not there. Het dials the phone. She is mad.

“Mom, hurry up! I’m pulling out the drive way.” Kelsey opens the door and runs out, putting on her high heels simultaneously with papers in her mouth, a briefcase under her arm, and a cell phone in her other hand.

BoSox giggles. “Mom, mom, mom. You’re so disorganized. But you’re still the best mom!”

BoSox drives. “So, What do you want for your 16th birthday?”

“A license!”

“Ugh…..” Before Kelsey says anything, she sees Hartless and her daughter, Cheap21.

Avoiding the current conversation, Kelsey responds, “Look! It’s Cheap, your best friend!”

Cheap puts the window down.

“Hey girl! You’re driving too! My mom is giving me a license for my birthday.”

Hartless interrupts. “What can I say? She’s my little buttercup!”

Kelsey sighs.

“I guess I could give you a license.”

BoSox screams and hugs her mom, letting her hands off the wheel.

“BOSOX! PUT your hands on the wheel!”

Bosox slams the breaks, and hits something.

BoSox and her mom, Kelsey and Cheap and her mom, Hartless, all get out of the car.

We see Kirk lying on the cement in front of the school.

Kelsey dials the phone.

GM is at the news station. His cell phone rings. He picks it up and we can hear Het SCREAMING!

After a conversation, he puts the phone down. “What have I gotten myself into?!?”

GM’s phone rings a second time; however, it is not Het this time. Upon seeing the number, he gasps and drops the phone. He runs out the office.

FS stares at his clock. It reads 8:02. “She’s late.”

On the Next Lather Up:

Kirk wakes up.

FS tears Kelsey apart in her interview.

GM receives another call and it reveals a huge secret.

Keith gets a drink at the Martini Lounge, owned by whitbrookfan4life.

[Mitchapalooza]

lol, that was hilarious

lol, that was hilarious