http://tvguide.sympatico.msn.ca/Fearless%2...s_NB.htm?isfa=1

The predictions for DOOL are hilarious!

AS THE WORLD TURNS

• Barbara Bloom manages to impress even herself when she recasts the role of Craig Montgomery for the umpteenth time. So, who’s the lucky patsy this time around? Jeff Trachta (ex-Thorne, B&B)! “Wanna hear my cabaret act?” Craig asks his stunned siblings Margo and Katie. “You guys look like you need to hear some Liza Minnelli — STAT,” he says before bursting into song.
• Osama Bin Laden is found hiding out in Grayson McCouch’s (Dusty) hairy nest.
• In an effort to be original, Janet and Jack name their newborn daughter Lourdes.
• In a press release, ATWT unveils its big 2009 storyline. “We have a revolutionary story that will literally be told in just one act,” informs executive producer Christopher Goutman. “Rose and Lily aren’t twins — they’re triplets! We first meet the triple threat when Luke is about to deflower himself at the local bathhouse, but he’s thwarted again when he finds his Aunt Gardenia on stage as a drag queen!” In real life, Noelle Beck is heard screaming on top of the Brooklyn studio roof: “I used to be on Sex and the City, for Christ’s sake! I swear I’ll jump, but I’m scared I’d survive the drop!”
• Ratings drop to new lows when fans can’t find ATWT on their channels because the entire canvas has been recast with newbies and/or has-beens.
• The series makes headlines when ATWT announces the soap will only air for five minutes a day in between airings of Y&R and will be re-named World Turns Presents: Cleaning tips with Lily Snyder. Sponsored by Bounty, of course!
• With a case of major blue you-know-what, Luke puts himself out of his misery and finally buys a dildo. In a touching storyline, Luke courts the dildo before making his first move on the sex toy. Naturally, Noah finds out and is so jealous and heartbroken that he runs out for some grief sex with the first Oakdale tramp he meets: Emily!
• To quote daytimeconfidential.com’s Luke Kerr: “Death to Paul and Meg. Death to them — once and for all.” Paul Howarth (Paul) later sends Kerr a thank-you note.
• Billy Magnussen (Casey) finally wears clothes that actually fit his body.

The Luke one is too funn!!

• Desperate for more mainstream PR, Ron Moss is caught wearing Kyle Lowder’s thong on-air. The guys at The Soup literally cream themselves.

:lol: