AMC: Answering Machine Messages

[AMCGio83]

Oh sorry.."Hi this is Maggie again. I'm as much a lesbian as I am French."BEEP.

[RockerMom58]

You've reached the office of Livia Frye, Attorney at Law. If you are in need of legal representation you've come to the right place...I am the only lawyer in town. If you're my brother, Derek, please be prepared to present a photo ID the next time you see me because you look different every time I see you! ...beep!

[bellcurve]

"Hi, it's Ava and I'm unavailable at the moment, but if could, please leave me a message and LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! I MEAN IT!"

[DevotedToAMC]

Hi this is Aidan Devane and I am also known as Fish n Chips. I am more than likely out holding some guy hostage and putting a noose around his neck or holding someone at gunpoint. That is the PI and special ops in me. Leave a message and I will return your call. Adios mate.

[Kay]

Hi, you have reached Greenlee Smythe. I've been such a whiny selfish bitch since I came back to town, that you're probably cringing as you listen to this message. FYI, I'm acutally in a bomb shelter right now blaming everyone else for my problems and--you guessed it-- whining like a baby. So just leave my info at the beep and I'll call me back. Did I mention everything is about me?

[DevotedToAMC]

Hi you have reached Dr. Joe Martin. I am probably at the hospital right now looking after the poor creatures of Pine Valley who were saved from burning buildings, near drowning, a see saw gone whackadoodle, a broken swingset, by his holiness, Ryan Lavery, and I have to make them better again. When I am off duty, I like to be home with Ruth baking cookies. Leave me a message and maybe I will make a house call. BEEP

[JackPeyton]

"Hello, You have reached the voicemail of Kendell Slater - you know, the best person in the entire world who has never NEVER nmever done a thing wrong. Therefor i get to judge everyone and come down on everyone. Also, dont forget I AM THE WORLDS BEST MOTHER EVER! If you are calling for my husband, Zach, who is the second greates person ever and who has also done no wrong in life, please dont leave the message here, This is all about ME ME ME! Dont forget to hate on greenelee, i mean even tho she does everything she does to prop me up, you should hate on her. shes a horrid person. Dont forget to also hate on babe and - well everyone that isnt as fab as me! Oh, and if you didnt hear i was in a com-" BEEP

Kendell to self adter recording cuts her off "Ugh. Who does that beep think it is. I AM KENDELL SLATER! no one cuts me off

[DevotedToAMC]

Hello this is Ritchie. If you are wondering if you can get on my life insurance policy, sorry but Doc Chambers is just too special to be taken off of it so go bother someone else. If you hit someone with your car, be sure to leave them for dead and we can share something in common. I also have a knack for pissing off wannabe Christs in this world with the last name Lavery so it looks like I am going to Hell. Before I go there, leave me a message and I will return your call when I am cancer free. Beep