GH: It was the best

[DevotedToAMC]

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. In a town somewhere in the United States, known only as Port Charles, US, a woman cried. This in itself was not unusual as she is known as the town crier for a reason. The little tramp, also known as Sam McCall, does nothing but cry. From one crises to the next she sheds her tears of despair and whine throughout the town bringing about ear splitting headaches and snot induced comas. While sitting on the dock she appeared vexed to those who passed by. Little did they know the simplest of things vexed this idiot. Today her vexing came from the fact she was trying to figure out how door knobs worked. She had been crying, as usual, when she realized the wonders that are door knobs.

She realized with some certainty now that her brain dead boyfriend would live that she was forced to spend many more days with him always in peril of losing him or else pretending to be in peril. Oh a bird flitted by and distracted her. This distraction lasted for about forty minutes.

Finally realizing she had wasted a good five minutes or more, telling time was not her strong suit, she decided she should make her way toward the hospital for her hourly crying jag. She passed a window at a jewelry store and she was amazed by the sparkle of the tinsel on the window. This distraction lasted for a good hour.

Finally realizing she had wasted a good ten minutes or more, she continued on her way to the hospital. She noticed a man who was blind with a hat out for donations. With stealth quiet learned from years and years of practice stealing and robbing anyone she could, Sam made her way to the man and snatched his hat. Pocketing the four dollars and eight cents she went about her day, stealing being one of her strong suits. She was distracted by the shiny lights over the door of the bakery. This distraction lasted an hour.

Finally realizing she had wasted a good fifteen minutes she headed back on her way to the hospital. Seeing a sale on visine she stops in to get a weekly supply of sixty bottles for her ever weepy eyes. Seeing a woman struggling with her many shopping bags, Sam puts on a smile and helps the woman. Then helps herself to the expensive jewelry in the top bag. Again stealing being one of her strong suits. She finally arrives at the hospital.

Those lighted buttons on the elevator always fascinate Sam. She has stolen several thinking anything that purty must me some kind of valuable. She takes numbers eight and twelve this time. Arriving at Jason’s room she squirts some visine in her eyes walks in weepy looking and sniffs her nose to indicate much crying. Jason rolls to his side, pretending to straighten up and rolls his eyes. Dear me, how much more crying can this girl do he wonders. Patience is not his strong suit.

Sam runs to the bed and begins to mindlessly hump his leg. Jason pushes her away and secretly hit’s the nurse’s button so that someone will interrupt them. Sex is not his strong suit, especially with Sam. He has to wear all over body protection and he doesn’t feel up to doning it since his brain surgery. Also with his brain healing he is coming to realize he isn’t all that into her humping him at strange intervals and shouting out his bank account numbers instead of his name. He is beginning to realize Sam probably didn't stop hooking because she smells of fish all the time,,,probably from the dock hands that run all over her skank self. And he is pretty sure before the surgery he had a rolex watch that is now missing and he thought he saw it dangling out of her pants pocket. So the conning and stealing seem to be pretty common with her. Well what can he expect from a comman HO?

Like I said at the beginning of this tale, it is the best of times, Sam has tricked one dumb azz into supporting her, and the worst of times, the elevator buttons are worthless and Jason is stuck being humped by a freak.