AMC: Erica interviews Michael Jackson for New Beginnings

[DevotedToAMC]

(New Beginnings theme song plays)

"Ladies and gentlemen! The one and only embodiment of New Beginnings...Erica Kane!"

(Erica enters)

ERICA: "Oh thank you so much everyone! You are the best! Well today is a very special episode about a very special person. You all know him as the singer who brought you the Moonwalk and Thriller but also as one who has been bogged down by the tabloids over his scandals with little children. Well he is here today to tell us about a new beginning that is going on in his life. So please without further adieu let me welcome Mr. Michael Jackson to the stage!"

(Michael moonwalks his way to Kane)

ERICA: "Thank you for coming Michael it is such a pleasure to see you."

MICHAEL: "Well let me be the first to say I watch your show religiously and no it is not because of the children or of Neverland. But I have actually met quite an interesting woman right now and it looks like you might be hearing wedding bells in my future."

ERICA: "Michael please tell us about this mystery woman of yours like what does she do, her name, her goals, etc."

MICHAEL: "Okay well her name is Megan McTavish and she has an interesting reputation with the people of New York City as someone who is fixated on rewriting history and a miracle known as a walking fetus. For some reason she also likes to watch stories and read books that deal with rape. What a fixation. But underneath it all she is a genuine woman and tells some funny knock knock jokes as well as ones about children which just gets me super excited."

ERICA: "So it looks like you are done with the children and now moving on to someone more age appropriate?"

MICHAEL: "Yes Erica I just had to put away those little fantasies and start to grow up a little bit and find someone who would love me for me and I was not cutting it with the children."

ERICA: "So now tell me more about this Megan McTavish woman. What does she do for a living."

MICHAEL: "Funny you ask because right now she is unemployed and just lost her job head writing for this TV show. I guess you can say her ideas were running stale for some time and some viewers were considering her a delusional hack and her biggest blunder was rewriting a character's abortion where a fetus was implanted into another woman. I have no problem with this since she saved a child's life and we all know how I feel about children. She got some bad reviews for also writing for this man characterized as an ape who chases around Dynamite Kiddo look a likes and has eyes that bulge out of his head about ready to scare the little ones, not to mention her knack for burying herself and others in her work with a buried alive story. Some people joked about my Megan that she could replace 'McDonald's' and take pride in their slogan 'Billions served.' It got so bad for my Megs that fans started picketing outside the AMC studios and threw food at her office and one person actually threw a condom that stuck to her window. I guess I am in for quite a surprise for her. But deep down she is this lovely woman and I have faith she will find a good job at another place and perhaps save some more miracle fetuses and have them walking about at large."

ERICA: "She sounds like quite an interesting character. Did she ever have a strong opinion about the fans?"

MICHAEL: "Oh lord know she about gave them more middle fingers than Liz Taylor has walked down the aisle. She just did not show genuine care for them and once they complained about the fetus reveal, she just chastized them for not enjoying her creative wit. But I have been touched by her genuine soul and overall good kindness and we've been going on strong now for three months and already have pet nicknames for each other...she calls me Hysteria Thriller and I label her as HackEye, kind of like Hawkeye."

ERICA: "Now you mentioned that there were signs of wedding bells in your future. Have you proposed?"

MICHAEL: "Not yet but I still have to find a ring that is the right size IF you know what I mean. The bigger the better for my lovely Meggers as she continues job hunting in NYC. Maybe she will write tips for Martha Stewart's magazine or get a job working on that show Passions and write about aliens, ghosts, goblins, witches, wizards. I guess if one can unabort a fetus then she can do just about anything."

ERICA: "Well Michael we have run out of time but I would like to thank you for coming on and telling us all about you and Megs and we wish you nothing but the best."

MICHAEL: "Thank you so much Erica but I do have to show you something else."

(Michael rips off his shirt and reveals his new boob job and Erica faints)

PRODUCER: "Cut!"