Members JackPeyton Posted January 21, 2008 Members Share Posted January 21, 2008 Black and White I read recently about a nifty little technique I shall dub “putting that [!@#$%^&*] behind you”. What you do is visualize the memory that may indeed be plaguing you, causing you to obsess perchance, and picture it in black and white, like a faded photograph. I like this because I always have this massive guilt about things, like, I should’ve done that better, If only I had been more patient, that person acting like an [!@#$%^&*] must SOMEHOW have been my fault. Of course, it isn’t it wasn’t, there are things that are far beyond my control, duh, but I’d like to be better at LETTING IT GO. I am a big fan of certain sayings like “let go or be dragged”, that’s a particularly nice visual, but the ego is a curious thing. It wants to figure out how to have its cake and control it, too. Just don’t work that way. The cake IS what the cake IS, and if you are gonna have it, you are gonna pay a certain price. Thems the rules. Why haven’t I written more? Why don’t I gig? I got bogged down in a depressive state about the things I could not change, it’s as simple as that. Now it’s time to let those things go to the past. They were moments, some were beautiful, some were awful, but the cake was the cake. I ate till I could eat no more. All this has managed to manifest itself physically, as it turns out. Like my previous consumptive character, Rosanna, I seem to have manifested myself a nice fibroid tumor on my uterus. Why am I sharing this with you? Because it scared the [!@#$%^&*] out of me, and now it turns out it’s not so bad. LOTS of women have these things. They are not cancerous, and you can leave them or have them out depending on the size and the symptoms they may be causing you. I’m gonna have mine out. The good news is, I have a good doctor who can get it out without cutting me open like a watermelon. It’s called laproscopic (sp?) surgery. They go in with a tube through your belly and break it up and suck it out. Gross, I know, but this is how it is. The bad news is you can’t get pregnant for 6 months after, but that’s okay. Perhaps there is a bit of God in all this. So what else? I’m very close to finishing my first book of poems/colleges. Very excited about it. I may have to have a party. I’m changing my life somehow, and it feels good. I feel more authentically me than I have in a REALLY long time. I feel free and young, and like I don’t have to be afraid. That is really a nice feeling. I think it’s because I felt old, and trapped and terrified for so long, I just can’t take feeling that way anymore. It’s time for new life. Why not? Love and thanks for reading and writing in. I really enjoy reading your emails. Cady from her offical blog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AddictedToSoaps Posted January 21, 2008 Members Share Posted January 21, 2008 Thank god she's ok...when I first read the title I freaked out! Oh how badly I want her to come back to AMC! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Andrew Posted January 21, 2008 Members Share Posted January 21, 2008 It sounds as she has Cancer, that is good that she hasn`t got it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stenbeck212 Posted January 21, 2008 Members Share Posted January 21, 2008 The title of this thread seems to suggest that she's at death's door. Fibroid tumors are fairly common for women, as she herself pointed out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MikeGoldy Posted January 21, 2008 Members Share Posted January 21, 2008 So, I just had to say that I LOVE your youtube channel!!! Thanks all of your wonderful videos!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Adam Posted January 22, 2008 Members Share Posted January 22, 2008 This is very common for women. I wish Cady a full recovery and hopefully a return to daytime whether it be Dixie or a brand new role for her She is far too talented to be unemployed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DevotedToAMC Posted January 22, 2008 Members Share Posted January 22, 2008 Wow I thought it was serious! Thankfully it is not cancerous and can be removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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