Ryan

Coming in late January, I will be writing a GH fanfic. This will be written to my liking with of course the help of many of the readers. I will be taking your suggestions on who I should keep around and who I should get rid of. One thing....if I get rid of Maurice Bernard (Sonny) it will involve a long-term story. I won't just say "Oops he's fired, no story left for you". I of course will be needing some help so if any of you want to help and/or submit ideas for storylines, feel free. I'm all ears. Based on the current contract cast, who do you think should be written off immediately: Maurice Benard * Not available b/c I said I'd write a long story for his departure from the show* Julie Berman Corbin Bernsen Steve Burton Dylan Cash Leslie Charleson Robin Christopher Tyler Christopher Scott Clifton Stuart Damon Jane Elliot Anthony Geary Nancy Lee Grahn Rick Hearst Rebecca Herbst Ted King Adrianne Leon Lindze Letherman Natalia Livingston Matt Marraccini Kimberly McCullough Kelly Monaco M'fundo Morrison Ingo Rademacher Ignacio Serricchio Kirsten Storms Jason Thompson Greg Vaughan Alicia Leigh Willis Laura Wright John J. York Jacklyn Zeman Also, if there are any characters you'd like to return or think an actor should be bumped to recurring, let me know. I'd love it if someone would help me write for the veterans. I unfortuneately haven't been able to see them in the glory days, so any info would be great.

Well, I hope everyone had a happy new year. I did. I had a nice time on Saturday night, ended up getting hospitalized on Sunday due to my lack of taking care of myself. I knew I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to blow off my NYE plans. Anyways, I'm feeling a bit better now and I'm glad to be back. I've been working on this damn column I've been trying to do off and on since like August (I've wrote like 8 columns already). I'm probably going to need some help coming up with some topics, so once I get into the flow of things, if you'd like to help me, feel free. I'm open.

This is the second night in a row that I haven't been able to sleep. During this time I've worked out (though in pain) and have set up my Sony PSP to be the "end all, be all" media system. I am now podcasting Guiding Light, CBS Soap Box & Rockland County Soap on my PSP. This god damn thing is so freaking cool. Wi-Fi internet where ever I go, I just tap into another internet connection. Actual internet, I can visit the SON webpage too. Eh, I guess I'll play some Guiding Light episodes until I go to sleep. I have to work in a few hours. Until next time.... -RC

For the first time in a few months I am very, very, very happy. My aunts returned home from the middle east (not for war) yesterday and I was able to see them today. I don't know how long they are here for, but to be able to see them after 7 months puts me in a very good mood. I'm very close to my aunts and I miss talking with them everyday. On top of that, my uncle is back from Iraq. It was a special Chandler family reunion. I'll be going back to my grandparents house tomorrow (don't know what time) after I do some more last minute shopping. My back still hurts like hell, but I''m still working out. I can't afford to miss a day. Finals are over! Thank god! I received 3 new scripts that I need to memorize for acting class in the mail today. I'm putting it off until next week. I should be able to do well. The estimated time for the scenes are 15 minutes. That's a lot of dialogue. Rockland County has a new timeslot. We will now be airing on Thursdays & Fridays. Roger has hinted that we may begin airing three days a week. I'm sure eventually we'll end up like Scripts and Scruples and air 5x a week. That'll be cool. I miss my friends in PA. I haven't seen them in a long time. I'll have to make time to go see them next week. That's it for now....until next time! -RC

Based on the title you'd think it was about my ex, but no. I injured myself while working out. I hit my lower back on one of the weights that was behind me as I was doing curls. Ugh, I'm so clumsy sometimes. I don't know how much longer I can damn continue to be cold at work. There is no damn reason for my office to be 27 degrees when I come into work in the morning. No reason. Being single kicks ass! It's fun not being tied down, but still keeping the door open for a serious relationship. I'll be able to go out like I used to come January. Thank god for vacations smile.gif . Rockland County is really picking up people. The relationship between Dante & Elijah is being explored more seeing as how Elijah has taken a liking to Dante's girlfriend Arden. Could Ashley be an ally for Elijah? I hope so. He needs a friend. Rockland County airs Wednesdays and Fridays at 9:45am ET on Radio Loger and repeats on Soap Opera Radio (Live 365) throughout the week. Each episode now runs around ten minutes in length. After each episode airs on Radio Loger, it becomes available to listen to on this website, along with the transcript for that show. Am I the only one liking the ABC soaps right now? I hope not. My column (which I still haven't found a damn title for, lol) will hopefully be debuting this week right here on SON. I'll be touching on the recast of Carly Corinthos-Alcazar and where I think GH went wrong with Jennifer Bransford (Carly #3). I'll also be touching briefly on OLTL and discuss the recent

Hey CSW: I'm looking forward to reading your blog. My question is, how do you come up with ideas?

Wow, I just got new lines for Rockland County and my character finally, finally gets to interact with Arden and Dante (the previous interaction was very short). Roger Newcomb (a member of SON), who's the creator of both Scripts & Scruples as well as Rockland County has done a great job with both shows. I was a little hesitant at first about doing this, but as the weeks go by, I become more and more comfortable. If you've been following the show, Elijah and Dante don't really get along. Now that Dante has a "girlfriend", Elijah's sorta taking a liking to her. Their previous encouter at a bar showed that Dante seemed a little upset that Elijah was talking to Arden. This week he's gonna be even more upset! Tune into Rockland County. Rockland County airs Wednesdays and Fridays at 9:45am ET on Radio Loger and repeats on Soap Opera Radio (Live 365) throughout the week. Each episode now runs around ten minutes in length. After each episode airs on Radio Loger, it becomes available to listen to on this website, along with the transcript for that show. Rockland County Test Link For Me

What a week it's been for me. Some good, some bad. But really bad on the boards. I got myself into a little bit of trouble this past week and while I won't go into it, I feel really bad. I took part in some things that were unneccessary and ended up making things worse. This just hasn't been a good week for me on SON. To those who may have been offended, I apologize. That was not my intention. Sometimes even the best of intentions come back and bite you on the ass as it did with me. You know who you are, and I won't say any names, but I'm sorry. I became a little oversensitive on some things, and too eager on others. This past week hasn't been me, Ryan Chandler. It's been someone who I haven't seen in a while. One who acts first without thinking. I will do my damndest to make sure it doesn't happen a again.

Woohoo it worked! Thanks Toups. You rock!

I have always said that I preferred being cold than hot, but my goodness, this is unbearable. Living near (damn near on) the beach is fun, but not when it's cold. The wind chill factor here was like 14 degrees. That's nothing compared to when I was in PA and the wind chill was 5-10 below zero, but still. For NY/NJ to have a pretty moderate winter last year, this is the complete opposite. I wish it would already go ahead and snow. We know it's coming, we just don't know exactly when. Oh, and on top of that, the heat is out at work. And because of where my office is located (on a pier above the beach), it's even colder. I'm freezing my ass of now. I would have just driven down to city hall, but my roomates have my car and to catch the Jitney would mean I'd have to walk two blocks up, and wait a few minutes in the cold. Uh uh, don't don't think so. So I'm trying to wait it out until I can go hom and warm up. Then I'm taking my car and going shopping, should my roomates ever decide to give me my damn car back. Speaking of that, I lent them my car like Tuesday. It's Friday....shouldn't I have my keys back by now? I saw Ashlee Simpson in concert last Saturday. She was pretty good. The show was better than her first tour here. While I did enjoy that, I enjoyed this one better. I didn't find her voice annoying and she really connects with her fans onstage. Good stuff Ashlee! Gotta go get my jacket. I guess I'll post another entry later. -RC

Enter The...oh the hell with it. I'm not gonna rant for long. I'll make this short and sweet. All of my plans for this week of been ruined. I was supposed to go down to Super Soap Weekend and enjoy myself. But no, Ryan can't be happy for too long can he? God damn it, my job decided today to exercise my "on call" clause in my contract due to me being the interim office administrator. Dude, I'm a freakin Executive Assistant, I don't want to run the office. The funny thing is though, tomorrow is a holiday for my job, but because the building I work in will be open, they have the ability to call me in. On the flip side, if I do go in, I get double the pay and I get to make up this holiday day at a later date. I'll probably add it to my Winter Vacation. Anyways, that's it. Chandler Out and Pissed The Hell Off!

Enter The Chandler Zone Ever hear a song and it reminds you of something that is going on in your life or makes you re-evaluate how you handled a certain situation. Well, that happened to me today. I'm here listening to Carrie Underwood's new album and came across a song called "Starts With Goodbye". Here are the lyrics below. That song made me so think about my relationship with my ex girlfriend. Obviously I'm still hung up on her because we've been broken up since February 2004 and I still can't get her out of my system. Why? Because we didn't do a clean break. We still hang out, just yesterday we went to the Audioslave concert at the Borgota. Would normal couples who broke up still hang out casually...especially with the chaotic relationship that she and I had? I don't think so, but I can't help it and neither can she. This song made me think about how I've been hanging on to something that isn't there. I've been wanting to start an advice column but before I can, I need to take my own advice and let go. I really can't see myself without Michele. I mean we've been around each other since like forever. Yeah we went through our "evil" phase after our breakup but I felt a void in my life without her and now that she's around I feel myself slipping slowly and slowly back into relationship mode with her. That is something I don't want. I can't do. "Sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye"....I guess I'm going to have to say goodbye to her. I can't move on and she's constantly around. If this means I have to move back to Manhattan permanately when our (my roomates and mine) house is finished being renovated so be it. I need a clean break, a fresh start, no string attached. I seriously feel that if I don't get away from her soon I'm going to have a breakdown. I mean, it doesn't bother me that she occasionally dates other people, but it in a way it does. I don't get jealous but I feel pain in my heart. I feel like a part of me is gone because I don't have her, but I have to realize why it is we broke up in the first place. I couldn't trust her. She hurt me. She betrayed me. No matter how much I repeat that I can't let go. I'm 19. For 6 years (off and on) she and I were like in each others soul. Everything we did when were were happy and angry was because of each other. Whenever we broke up and we tried to make each other jealous, it wasn't out of hate or anger it was out of love. When I broke up with her in February 2004, my heart ached for weeks because it was like I killed a part of myself and then the war began. Even after all the things she said and did to ruin my life, I couldn't be without her. I reached out to her to rebuild our friendship in November of 2004 and here we are a year later and I still haven't totally gotten her out of system. Am I stupid? Am I crazy? No, I'm not. I'm in love, hard. But I can't let go though I need to. I've learned in my psych classes that it's bad to be so emotionally attached to someone but whatelse can you be to someone you have loved and hated since you were a kid? When we got together it wasn't because "I like you, you like me, let's go out" it was stragegy. To make us more popular because cheerleaders should date football players. But I grew to love her. And though she infuriated the hell out of me, I saw myself being with her forever. No matter who it was we dated, we always ended back together because we needed to be chaotic together. Lol, we were voted most likely to be married and divorced 3 times to each other. I am now standing at a crossroad. Do I go down the road that I've taken for so many years, or do I do the unthinkable and say "Goodbye" to someone who ultimately it wouldn't work out with. I know I keep sending her mixed signals but I'm gonna to say goodbye to be happy. Do I think I'll ever care for someone as much as I care for her? Maybe I will, I'll always love her, but I can't be with her. One thing I know this pain is good for is acting. Thank god I have this pain to draw from when I need to be emotional. Oh my god, I mean I'm actually tearing up writing this. Maybe because this is it. This is the end. Shelle, I know you're gonna read this eventually and when you do I don't want you to get upset. I want you to go back and read how much you have dominated my life since we broke up. Go back and read my other blog entries and find out how many times I've cried over you. How many good relationships I was in since you that have ended because I though I said it, I wasn't able to move on. Know that I am saying goodbye because I do love you and because I need to be happy. You need to be happy. And we won't be able to do that unless one of us makes a clean break, and I'm gonna have to do it. One day we will look back on our relationship and realize that it made us stronger friends, but I can't do that until I end the story that is "The Ryan & Michelle Conflict". There is no catchy way to end this, no "witty" thing that I can say, just that I feel a major part of me has died and will be reborn after this is over.

Enter The Chandler Zone Once again it's time for me to talk. And oh how I like to talk, lol. My main reason for posting is because I find myself to interested in the websoap that I participate in. Normally I would just call in my lines and listen to my part only, but man are things picking up. My character Elijah is involved in a hit and run accident...or is he? Listeners just found out that Elijah was not the one driving his car the day Caroline Hart was run down, he was in class taking finals all day, but his mom had the car. I'm liking the current storyline with Paul Ramos (who I swear had to be Elijah's father. I'm sticking with that plan) and Barbara. Hell, I like the entire show. If you're happen to read this, please click on the following link: Rockland County We are also podcasting now. I've also decided to start working on the concept for my soap again. I started this about a year or two ago during my TV Production class. We had to come up with a concept for a serialized drama, and I chose a soap that based on a combination of South Jersey beach towns (Brigantine, Margate, Point Pleasant, Sea Isle City). That's it for now. Chandler Out!

Enter The Chandler Zone Thank god I am done with my damn paper. It was fun but jesus christ it took for freaking ever to write. It was on the steps leading up to a relationship...the courtship if you must give it a name. It was what do women look for in the steps leading up for a full blown relationship. After speaking with some close female friends of mine (who were great sources) I also decided that I will be working on an advice column with my best friend. Dunno how it'll work yet but I'm getting there. Now onto some random stuff: Is it just me or is Laguna Beach really addicting? I finally decided to give the show a chance and I am now hooked. Also, why is that I hear more music on Laguna Beach than I do on the entire MTV network? The network is MTV...Music Television, where's the god damn music? And no, the 1 hour of TRL and the 1 hour or so of Direct Effects doesn't count, nor does the two-three hours worth of music that is played in the morning. I might want to be more careful about what I put in my sig. Apparently what I put in there can be "offend"some people. Since like April I had "Soap Opera Network...Putting all other sites to shame" as a tag line under my banner. When we had all that drama back last month, someone called it "simply arrogant behaviour". I guess they thought I was putting a new site down. That wasn't true. And while my comment could be considered "arrogant" I was just showing support for the site that I work with. Maybe if I put "Soap Opera Network...Accept No Imitations" in my sig it would be the next of a long list of things that I have done or said recently to "offend" people. Lol, isn't the internet just fun? I think I'll be posting my wrestling column soon. I meant to post it last week from the week before but I got sidetracked. Things look good tonight. Wrestling fans make sure to watch WWE RAW live on the USA Network at 9pm!! Ashlee Simpson's new album is awesome. I am glad she bounced back from her incident last year. Lol, I remember the banner I made of her singing at the Orange Bowl, it wasn't very friendly, but I admited I was joking. What ever happened to the Goo Goo Dolls? I have their song "Iris" stuck in my head. They should release some more stuff. Make sure everyone checks out the Rockland County Websoap. This show has great writing and the cast is terrific. I'm not to proud of the job I've done so far, but I'm getting better. I just can't perfect the voice I'm supposed to use. Hmmm....being the fact that Rockland County is in New York...shouldn't Elijah have a NY accent? Better yet, shouldn't most of the cast have a NY accent? Just a thought. Anyways, that's it for now... Chandler Out!

Maybe it could be the fact that I have a mild hangover, but I've been thinking about my father alot today. He and I don't have a great relationship and haven't had one for years. A friend of mine heard a song called "Confessions of a Broken Heart" by Lindsay Lohan and sent it to me. I could totally connect with the words. Anyways, I thought I'd post the lyrics to the song (which were edited to reflect me being the son) Confessions of a Broken Heart I wait for the postman to bring me a letter I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders A family in crisis that only grows older... Why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go? Son to father, Son to father I am broken, but I am hoping Son to father, Son to father I am crying, a part of me is dying and These are, these are The confessions of a broken heart I wear all your old clothes your polo sweater I dream of another you the one who would never (never) Leave me alone to pick up the pieces A daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed (So) why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go? Son to father, Son to father I don’t know you, but I still want to Son to father, Son to father Tell me the truth, did u ever love me? Cause these are, these are The confessions of a broken heart I love you I loved you I love you I........ I loved you! Son to father, Son to father I don’t know you, but I still want to Son to father, Son to father Tell me the truth... Did you ever love me? Did you ever love me?!! These are.... The confessions of a broken heart Ohh...yeah I wait for the postman...to bring a me a letter I'm sure there are many people who can relate to this song on many levels. Sure my father isn't in prison/jail, but he's still not here with me, and though I choose not to have a close personal relationship with him, I still wish things could be different. He chose his then girlfriend (now wife) and her children over me many times when I lived with him, he has no one to blame for alienating me but himself. He wasn't the same father who I knew growing up, and I blame him for that. He missed a lot becauses of his stupidity. My first touchdown in high school, my first drama production, my sophmore formal, junior and senior prom, and my graduation (though he was invited, but I didn't want him to bring his wife, he refused to come w/o her so I told him that's his loss.) and so many other things. So I feel bad about not reaching out more? Not really. I don't know him anymore. I am tired of reaching out and getting nothing in return. Maybe I should record my own version of this with my band and send my dad a copy.

I don't know what it is with me lately, but I swear I am liking county music more and more. It's quite ridiculous how the same songs play over and over on contemporary radio, so I occasionally switch to the country station. Now, I've always liked certain songs, but I'm starting to like more and more. There's this one song that I can personally relate to. Now the lyrics aren't that great, but I just like the song in general. It's Josh Gracin's "Stay With Me" "Stay With Me" Baby, the clock on the wall is lying It's not really that late It's too cold outside to be walking around The streets of this town Anywhere if you think you have to be can wait [Chorus] (Baby) So why don't you stay with me? Share all your secrets tonight We can make believe the morning sun never will rise Come and lay your head on this big brass bed And we'll be alright as long as you stay with me, yeah Baby, there's just no use in hiding The way that I am feeling right now With you standing there baby I swear I can't help but stare Girl you're wearing me out, wearing me out [Chorus] (Baby) Why don't you stay with me? Share all your secrets tonight We can make believe The morning sun never will rise Come and lay your head on this big brass bed We'll be alright as long as you stay with me [bridge] Baby don't go it looks like it's starting to rain And it's so warm here in this apartment wrapped up in this blanket So Stay [Chorus] Stay with me.... Share all your secrets tonight. We can make believe... The morning sun never will rise Come and lay your head on this big brass bed We'll be alright as long as you stay I'll be alright as long as you stay..... With me Stay With Me I don't really like the video. I don't know why I like that song so much. I like last line of the chorus, that's what hooked me. Plus, it kinda hits me personally. Especially since I care about the girl that I'm involved with off-and-on so much. I'll be doing these a lot. I'll hear a song and it'll make me think of something directly involved with my love life and I'll end up posting it on here.

Enter The Chandler Zone I had a really, really good day at work. I met my new boss. She's freaking hot!!!!! Oh my god, I mean I went speechless when I saw her. I have to find a way to take some pictures of her to post on my blog. Work is gonna be really interesting starting October 3rd. I think I should turn on the SCC....the "Smooth Chandler Charm". Oh yeah, I think I've come up with my newest project...to make my boss....mine. She's 25, I'm 19. That's too big of a stretch. Chandler Out!

Enter The Chandler Zone I sooooooooo don't want to go to work tomorrow. It's not that I hate my job, it's just that there is nothing for me to do until our new director starts. It's the ideal job for someone who likes to be bored, but I can't deal with it for much longer. Yeah I have a great view of the ocean, and yeah the boardwalk is right outside of our gate, but it's been too damn hot for me to be out there. Plus the humidity messes up my hair. If I spike it in the morning, it'll completely fall out by mid afternoon. Anyways, back to work, I need so many things for my office. I need a new computer for one thing, I also need the city to network my office to the main building so I can have internet access, I also need the IT guys to set up my city e-mail account. I know things are slow, but jeeze, I've waiting for Internet access since April. We so need some young hot girls in my department. There's like nothing but old people near me. Now I don't mean this to insult the elderly, but it sucks not being attracted to anyone in my department. I guess the brightside is I can roll over to my window and check out the chicks on the beach. I must say, South Jersey has some pretty hot girls. Gotta love them. Anyways, today we have a meeting with the new director after the board of director's meeting. The new director starts October 3rd if I'm not mistaken. Thank god she's coming. I hope I won't have any problems with her. The past interim director didn't like the fact that I worked for city hall at my young age. It's not my fault I can type better than most of the people at City Hall. I noticed Na'Velle posted his blog entry and mentioned Rockland County. I am also a part of Rockland County. I play Elijah Phillips. Now I've been playing a guessing game with the creator of RC (Roger Newcomb) about Elijah's past. I think Elijah is the illegitimate son of the powerful Paul Ramos. I have no proof to back this up, it's just a feeling. Anyways, I want to thank Roger for letting me be a part of the web soap. I personally hate my phone voice, so I try to play with it a lot. I guess he never chooses the version that I like, lol. I've been told I'm getting better though. It's kinda hard to play a scene one sidedly. Anyways, here's a plug for Rockland County! Rockland County airs Wednesday's and Friday's at 9:45am ET on Radio Loger and repeats on Soap Opera Radio (Live 365) throughout the week. Each episode is about 10 minutes long. RC is also available on podcast. Check out the Rockland County Website Yeah, that's what's happens to me. I jump from topic to topic and begin rambling like I am now. The readers will get used to it. It happens a lot. Later on today I'll be covering the personal issue that kept me away for almost two weeks. Chandler Out!

Today is my first offical day returning to SON. After about two weeks of dealing with some family issues and my own personal problems, it's nice to be able to get back online and just do nothing, lol. I celebrated my 19th birthday on Saturday, September 24. My roomates took me out for my birthday. I really enjoyed it. The club was really awesome, I plan on going back in a few weeks. Saturday started off pretty late. My roomates and I stayed up until like 3 on Friday just hanging out with some girls we met a few weeks ago. I ended up taking some Nyquill and slept until 2. Not my perfect idea of a Saturday morning, but it felt good to sleep so damn late. Today was pretty good. I stayed home and shook off what happened last night. The SON meeting was pretty productive and we managed to get a lot done. Thank gone we're back up and running. I HATE Ezboard. Anyways, that's it for my first blog entry. Chandler Out!