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Funerals and Secrets! Episode 58



Can I Get A Witness West Coast Baptist Churchdigitaljess001.jpg

05_320x240-1.jpgSister Patterson, with funeral programs in her hand, stands at the front door of the church, waiting to greet mourners, for Dahlia's body less funeral

The first guest to arrive is Sister Patterson's very own, Karim Williams and his new girlfriend Alexis.

As they approach, Karim gives Alexis a quick pep talk


"Listen, my mom is crazy."


"I'm sure she's a nice woman."

Karim, as they get closer

"Good morning ma."

Sister Patterson hugs her son while eyeballing Alexis.

"Good morning baby. Is your brother coming?"


"No, he's with pops. Trying to find leads on Sharan. Ma, this is Alexis."

Alexis puts her hands out to shake

Sister Patterson, coughing

"I don't shake. Too many germs going around."

Karim rolls his eyes and Alexis is stunned.


"So you said this is your friend? It looks like you two are more than that. Don't lie to me Karim. The Lord is sending me signal that you're lying. What if Miss Jenkins found out you were lying to me."


"Ma yes, Alexis and I are dating."


"Lord Have Mercy. What happened to Victoria?"


"Ma not now please." He says grabbing Alexis and trying to walk past his mother. She jumps in front of them and looks at Alexis.

"I'm watching you. There is something about you that is evil. I can feel in my bones. I got my eye on you snowflake."


"Excuse me?"


"Ma, don't!" He says this time walking past his mother with Alexis.

Pat, hollering at them

"You forgot your program. I didn't make these for my health. Don't you walk away from me Karim. I don't want to have to jack you up in the Lord's House. Lord what if Miss Jenkins found out about this," She shakes her head in disgust and walks back outside to her post.

"I can tell this funeral is going to be crazy."


Episode: 58, Dahlia's Funeral

Written by ML C with Monique Bitches

Next guest to arrive are Natalia and Ria. They walk up to Sister Patterson


"I can't believe a slut like you would show your face here in God's house. Thou shall not be the hor of Pasadena." She says hugging her."


"Hello Sister Patterson. It's good to see you again. It feels like I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays."


"Yes it does. And I'm glad. You hurt my son. God shall strike you down for that" She looks at Natalia "Oh here you go" Handing Nat a program.


"It's good to see you again Sister Patterson." As they are about to walk into the church. Pat suddenly jumps in front of them.


"Wait! Do you feel that?"

Natalia and Ria both look at each other in confusion


"Feel what?"


"There's an evil presence here. I can hear, feel and smell it."


"You can smell evil?"


"I am doing the good work of the Lord so yes I have those capabilities." She looks at Natalia

"You're the devil!"


"I beg your pardon."


"Get away from me devil." She says pulling out her Holy Water. Natalia and Ria rush inside before Sister Patterson can throw the Holy Water on her.

Next is Mark to arrive. He slowly approaches Sister Patterson


"Good morning baby."


"Good morning Sister."


"I'm so sorry for your loss. God has a reason for everything." She says as she hugs him


"Thank you Mother Williams."

Pat, letting go of Mark

"Wait!!.. Hold up.. Something isn't right. My third eye is being activated"

Mark, frowning up

"Are you ok Sister Patterson?"


"There is something about you that isn't right."


"What do you mean?"


"Your hiding something. I want you to tell me what it is now?"

Mark, thinking of the harassing phone calls and his sliced car tires

"Sister, no disrespect, but I'm not hiding anything." He says trying to walk past her


"Where do you think your going? This is God's House and you just lied on his front porch. Lord Have Mercy. You need to go in there, get on your knees and repent. I got all three eyes on you." She hands him a program and pushes him inside,

Mark's mysterious phone caller, the one with the loud Chevette pulls into the church parking lot.oldcar.jpg As the Chevette backfires one last time before cutting off, the mysterious person gets out the car, wearing pink pumps, pink stockings and a pink weave. This lady takes a back entrance to the church. Inside she sees Mark.

"Yes indeed. I'm here for the big payback." The woman sees a woman approach Mark


"I'm glad you could make it." She says hugging Mark

"I know this is hard for you but I want you to know that I am here for you every step of the way."


"Get your hands of me. It's because of you why Dahlia is dead."

From afar

Mysterious person, still watching Mark and Natalia

"Who is that hugging all over Mark." The lady studies Natalia more.

"She looks big around the belly. Is she pregnant? I have to find out what the deal is with her."

Next to arrive are Mike and Jodie, Hand in Hand. They greet Sister Patterson

Pat, hugging Mike first

"It's good to see you two again. After I saw this lady here straddling over you on TV at your Pub, I thought, now that is a crime shame. One of Pasadena's finest got caught with his pants down."


"Sister, it wasn't even like that."


"Don't say no more. We are in the house of the good Lord. Don't lie." She hugs Jodie then she stares at her


"Is something wrong sister?"

Pat, tears rolling down her face, hugs Jodie again

"Poor girl, I know what you're going through. I feel your pain. Just keep you're head up."

Jodie looks at Pat in confusion

"What pain?"


"I knows everything honey. God tells me everything. I know what you're going through."

Jodie wonders if sister Patterson is referring to her HIV status. Sensing a weirdness in the air Mike breaks the silence


"Sister Patterson, it's good seeing you again.' They walk into the church.

Next up are Ty and Jenn.


"Well Hello and welcome to God's House. I'm so sorry we have to meet like this."


"I am too, how are you sister Patterson"


"Blessed" She says as she hugs her.


"You look lovely as always Ms. Patterson."


"That's sister Patterson to you son, and yes I do don't I? The good Lord told me to wear this today." She says handing them the funeral program. She looks at Ty


"Are you ok Sister Patterson?"


"I don't know. There is something about you. "


"As in?"


"My third eye tells me you are a snake. I can feel it in my bones."


"Maybe you should get some glasses Ms. Patterson."


"Oh no you didn't. I hope I don't have to cuss in my God's House."

Jenn grabs Ty and they walk inside and sister Patterson follows.

Ria approaches Karim, who is sitting with Alexis


"I'm sorry to interrupt but Karim can I talk to you?"

Alexis, arching an eye brow at Ria

"GO ahead baby. I'm not worried." She says kissing him on the lips, rubbing the fact that Karim is her man now.

Karim gets up and they head to the back of the church

Mark, sitting in the front row gets company as Natalia sits next to him.

"What the hell are you doing here?"


"Why are you so mean to me? I'm here to be here for my baby's father."


"You shouldn't have wasted your time."


"Is this how your going to be acting when our bundle of joy is born?"


"I already told you I'll be suing you for full parental rights. You are an unfit and unstable mother and no child of mines will be raised by a lying Bitch like you." Natalia slaps Mark across the face.


"I was good enough to sleep with but not to raise a child?"


"You blackmailed me into having sex for you. Now get the hell away from me. I'm going to Abe and filing a restraining order on you."

From afar. Mark's mysterious caller is watching all this take place

"She's pregnant. She's trying to trap him to be with her. I'm not having it. " The mysterious person disappears.

Finally the Funeral begins and Sister Patterson Williams takes her place at the front of the church.




Pat, even louder

"I said AMEN!!"

Guest, getting louder and looking at the sister like she crazy


Pat, turning the page of a book

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for the nuptials-" Someone clears there throat in the crowd.


"Lord Have Mercy. I'm reading the wedding speech. Lord forgive me" She says adjusting her glasses

"The Lord works in mysterious ways. But he has a plan. Though we didn't know sister Dahlia all that well, her spirit lives in the minds and hearts of the people who came her to show there respects. Sister Dahlia was a good woman, never in trouble with the law. Oh now wait a minute. I did read about her being arrested for stealing clothes. She should have went to the salvation army if she was poor. Sister Dahlia could have come over to my house and I would have been glad to offer some of my pretty Sunday dresses. But any case. Sister Dahlia, we will never forget you, and may you rest in peace."dahia.jpg

In the crowd, Ty gets a phone call and not to be rude, tells Jenn he'll be back


"We thank everyone for coming and may God bless." She steps down to mingle and console the guests. Mark continues to stare at Dahlia's picture. Remembering all the good times they've shared together over the years, he sheds a tear.

Mike and Jodie are now outside the church As they walk out, she stops and looks at him


"Listen Mike, I really have to get something off my chest about what I said to you the other night at The Blue Note."

What the couple doesn't know is Jenn is sneaking in on there conversation.


"Please Jodie it's ok"


"I don't feel it is."


"Let me prove it to you." Mike leans in and kisses Jodie passionately.

Jenn is fuming mad.

"Damn that Bitch. What is it with her that Mike and Ty can't get enough off. I've had it. It's time to take Jodie out. It's time to dig some dirt on that slut."


"Ria what is it?"


"I just wanted to tell you Karim, that I am so sorry for hurting you. I was selfish and wrong."


"Is this a plea to get back with me? If so you can save it."


"No no nothing like that. I'm ready to move on and I just wanted to let you know that I have moved on. I wish you well with Alexis. I have no bad feelings toward her. My loss is her gain. And in fact, if she didn't tell you, were going to be working together."

Karim doesn't know what to say at Ria's new mature outlook on this situation


"Well, have a good day Karim" She walks away. Karim watches as she walks off. That is until Alexis comes up behind him.

"Is everything ok?"


"I guess so."

A late comer to the funeral, Diego on a mission to find Natalia does just that. He grabs her and pulls her aside.


"Get your hands off me. What is it with people wanting to hurt me while I am with child?"


"You can stop the act. I'm not Mark!"


"Well what the hell do you want? I have a man to love."


"Our deal."


"What deal. Dahlia is dead. "


"Right. So we need to make some adjustments in our deal. I was supposed to have Dahlia for me keeping quiet about how you paid Suga to stab Dahlia."


"So what do you want damn it?"

Diego, with a smile on his face

"I thought you'd never ask"

Having heard the whole conversation is Mark's mysterious caller

As Ty is about to make call he sees Lauren approaching him with a half bottle of Gin. He walks over to her


"Lauren. I'd never thought I'd see you like this"

Lauren, tears rolling down her face0000033538_20060927013221-1.jpg

"He's gone. Chris Killed him"




"Daniel!" Breaking into tears. Putting aside there differences for once and still in a state of shock Ty embraces Lauren and Lauren without hesitation wraps her arms around Ty. Jenn is off in the distance and is star struck at her best friends affectionate hug with her so called enemy.

Upon approaching his car, Mark can see some one is in his car on the passenger side. He runs up to see who it is and he comes face to face with the person who has been calling him and harassing him.




"That's me. And I'm here for the big payback."


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Good episode! This episode still has some good drama, but a variety of laugh out loud moments also! I'm intrgued about Rufus's arrival.

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This funeral was just as intense as an episode of I Love New York! I felt like SP was eying up all of the patrons. It was cool to see a funeral get ruined by Natti. Seems like Mark has tons of trouble now that Rufus has stepped in.

I thought that it was possibly Dahlia back from the dead.

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