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"The Luke and Kevin Story" part 7


All My Shadows

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Here it is, the next part of the saga! The plot starts to move, and you will be surprised at what happens! I wanted to also say that if you guys have any complaints about anything in the story, please let me know. The only way to make something better is to say something about it. But, anyway, here we go...

AS THE WORLD TURNS

"The Luke and Kevin Story" part 7

It had been four days since Luke and Kevin decided to start their relationship. Honestly, for the most part, it was nothing to write home about. For fear of their parents getting wind of it, they pretty much stayed isolated from each other. When they would talk on the phone, it would be about the things they would talk about before the kiss. The precise reasons why there was little talk about it all were the same reasons why they took so long to discuss what happened that night at the cabin.

Luke was afraid that, in the midst of lovey-dovey conversation, Kevin would go silent and then suddenly utter, "Luke, I don't think I'm right for this," or "I think I might be straight after all." Luke would not be able to show his face around Kevin again if that happened. Was he indeed just a way for Kevin to experiment? What would happen if the young Mr. Davis suddenly decided that he wasn't gay? Luke felt that Kevin wasn't nearly as stressed as he would be if he truly was gay.

Kevin was scared to piss Luke off again. When they met at Lucinda's guesthouse, Luke was so nervous and jumpy whereas Kevin wanted to be with him without a care. He knew that any bad word could send him over the edge. I mean, Kevin thought, I'm not a rocket scientist, but I'm sure that if he's stressed enough, something would happen to his kidney right? Kevin just wanted to protect him.

Whatever the matter was, Luke was still acting as if they weren't together. He wanted so desperately to be with him, but because of his doubt in Kevin's sureness, Luke thought that maybe he was better off not seeing him.

When they last saw each other at Lucinda's, they left on good terms. After declaring that they were in love with each other, they killed the tea and pastry and Kevin went to a doctor's appointment, leaving Luke to analyze his life. He had great parents, a little out-of-the-loop sometimes, but still great parents. Faith and Natalie were the two most adorable little sisters he could ever ask for. Emma was wise and caring while Lucinda was fun and brutally honest. He had started friendships with Maddie, Gwen, and Casey, and renewed his friendship with Will. And now he had a boyfriend who loved him. For some reason, Luke knew that it should have felt right, but it didn't. Perhaps with time, he thought.

Luke was out for a brisk before-dusk walk on a Luther's Corners backroad when he spotted someone familiar just a bit down the road. "Swear to God," he said under his breath.

"Luke!" Kevin called from down the road. He started to run, getting Luke worried. "Luke," Kevin repeated. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you much ever since..."

"Don't worry about it, Kevin," Luke replied. He hated being so redundant by addressing Kevin as the person he was speaking to. He wanted to use a pet name, but decided against it, but the pause from the comma was still there, so he said Kevin's name instead. "I have missed you though."

Kevin smiled at him. "Maybe we should do something to celebrate our reunion?"

Luke did not understand why he couldn't just agree and take the plunge. Maybe that old "too good to be true" sentiment was returning. "Like what?"

"Well, this road here looks like it could use two hot studs walking on it for a while..."

"Two hot studs!? Where?" Luke found himself asking in a joke. The funny thing about Luke was, when he wasn't with Kevin and was only thinking of him, he would get so nervous. When he was actually there with him, things mellowed a great deal.

"I'm looking at one of them," Kevin said, getting closer to Luke. Being just a tad bit shorter than his boyfriend, he had to stand on his tippy-toes to get a kiss. When they broke it, the eyes went at it again. "So," Kevin began to say as they started to walk together. "How does it feel to have a boyfriend?"

Luke was just so taken aback at how casually Kevin spoke of this. Did he not realize how big this was? He really didn't know how to answer that question, but tried to give the most truthful answer anyway. "It's confusing," he said. He stopped walking. "Kevin, do you really love me?"

"Oh, here we go with that again," Kevin said, dreading the place that the conversation seemed to be just running to. "Luke, how many times have I kissed you in the last week? How many times have I told you that I love you? I love you, I love you. I love everything about you!"

Kevin smiled as he looked at Luke, waiting for a response. "Really?" Luke asked, finally loosening up.

"Yes!" Kevin exclaimed. Luke looked at him. His innocent eyes, his guilty smile. Everything that made Kevin who he was. And behind that lied a personality that was so complex and interesting. Luke loved this boy, he truly did, and for the first time, he felt that Kevin loved him too. Spontaneously, Luke pulled him into a hug.

As they walked on, Luke was wondering. "Was it obvious that I was gay?" he asked Kevin. He had so many things to ask him, and he felt like a someone who had to spend a million dollars in one day.

"Well...that's not really for me to say, Mr. 'I own the first five seasons of Dawson's Creek on DVD'?"

"Hey now, wait a minute! I saw all of those magazines underneath your mattress. What were they again? 'Good Housekeeping'?"

"I keep those issues just for collective purposes! Do you know how much a Danielle Seel short story will be worth once we hit the apocalypse?"

This was so typical of the both of them. Talking about trivial things and making jokes about everything. They felt the same as they always had, but now they had such a broader range of things they could talk about. Yesterday's baseball game, that new rock CD, and now, the cute little birth mark on Kevin's right thigh or how Luke's striped sweaters made him look like a resident of Sesame Street. All of the things that Luke had wanted to talk to him about were now up for grabs.

"So how are things with your parents?" Luke asked.

"Just as bad as always. Some days are better than others, but it's easier now that Shari is out of the house. Sean is still the !@#$%^&*] that he is, though."

"You need to move out of your father's home," Luke suggested.

Kevin looked at him. "I told you already, I can't."

"I really don't understand why you can't."

"If I went to live with my mother, that would mean another city and another high school. I can't imagine being away from you now."

Luke understood. "I don't want you to have to go through anything just because of me."

"Luke, you're the only good thing about living here with my dad, and you're worth all of the fights and stupid arguing. Besides, you were blessed with a great father. He's hot too."

"Ew, Holden? He's my father! Well, actually," Luke began. He never remembered telling Kevin this before, but now that they were together, he figured that it was something he should know. "My real dad is Damian Grimaldi."

"Yeah, really, did you just make that up?" Kevin asked, playfully jabbing at his shoulder.

"No, I'm serious," Luke said. Kevin realized that he was. "He's some Maltese gangster or something like that. My mom and dad took a little break after the 80s and Mom fell for Damian."

"I never knew that," Kevin said. "I thought they were some great love story that could never be parted."

"Ha, yeah, well, they aren't. As a matter of fact, my father named me. My real name is - get this - Luciano. Now do you see why I like Luke so much?"

Kevin smiled. "Luciano...I like it. It sounds exotic. Luciano..."

Luke hated anybody calling him that. "It's Luke!" he would always shout, but now, when Kevin said it, it wasn't so bad. It was actually kind of good.

"So, Luke Snyder is actually Luciano Grimaldi. Sounds like an exciting life."

"Believe me, all of the exciting stuff happened before I was even bored. I have to get Grandma Lucinda to tell you the stories one time. You'd die with laughter," Luke said, happily recalling when Lucinda told himself the stories of old.

"Well you're with Holden now and he's a good guy from all I've seen. I mean, sure, he probably wants to take my head off with a haybaler, but that means he cares about you."

"I guess," Luke said. Holden did care, he thought. He cared enough to keep secrets between them, something he was sure his mother would not be able to do.

Luke had never seen this side of Kevin before. It was a more sensitive side, and he liked it. It made their relationship feel even more right.

The little walk proved to be lucrative. They both found out so much about the other. They were little things that really made no difference, but they were the things that couples just knew about each other. Luke always wondered how his mother found out that his father's favorite color was blue. Maybe it all started with a night like this.

For example, Kevin hated peanut butter but loved jelly. They both loved playing sports. Luke wasn't much of a reader, but he liked to hear other people read. Kevin promised to read a trashy short story from one of his issues of "Good Housekeeping" to him.

They were lying in the bed of an old, abandoned truck in a field when Kevin asked perhaps the most random question ever. "Do you ever wonder where you're going to be at in ten years?"

"Sometimes," Luke carelessly said. With the cool summer wind blowing through them, all words seemed to just float away, but not before stopping in the other's ear. "I used to always wish that I'd be with you in ten years."

Kevin turned and looked at him. Knots grew in both of their stomachs. They had never been so open before. Everything was shared between the two of them and they liked it that way. Now they knew where one was weak and the other was strong. They were now able to help each other through anything.

If Luke only knew, Kevin thought, how much I love him. Love, love, love, the word had been spoken by the both of them so many times since the weekend that they really didn't understand the strength of it. Love. It was what they felt deep down inside. Love. It gave them permission to be themselves.

"Kevin," Luke started to say, "I'm sorry for doubting you. You just caught me off guard."

Kevin smiled. "You wanted things to happen how you wanted them to happen, but I came in and changed that. I'm sorry for it."

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad," Luke continued. "Now I can be with you."

Kevin looked so deep into his eyes, and vice versa. "What are we going to do now?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"We can't hide in the shadows forever. We have to come out with this sooner or later."

Luke was puzzled. "I've come out already. It's all up to you now, and I don't want to rush you. Whenever you're ready, I'll be ready."

Kevin breathed a sigh of relief. He had seen it too many times before in movies. The out gay guy starts a relationship with the closeted gay guy and though they love each other dearly, the out gay guy leaves the closeted gay guy because he doesn't want to come out. He was hoping Luke wouldn't do that to him. He just needed time. He wanted to come out, but not until he was sure that he wouldn't have to see his father ever again.

They were both lying on their sides in the back of the truck. Slowly, Kevin moved his hand over to rest on Luke's hip. He moved himself closer to the one that he loved and soon his hand was moving all around Luke's back.

"Kevin," Luke said. "I don't think I'm ready for this." Here it is again, Luke thought. Suck it up, Snyder, he said to himself. He's told you that he loves you and that he cares for you deeply. Make love to him. "No," Luke said aloud. "I'm definitely not ready for this."

"Okay," Kevin said to him in reply. "I'm not ready to come out and you're not ready to do this. Now we're even."

"I guess we are," Luke said, smiling because Kevin understood and didn't try to convince him to do it. For some reason, he just couldn't do it. An admission of love was one thing, but giving up yourself to a person was another. Luke was still a virgin in every sense of the word. The closest he ever got to doing it was when he and Jade were scantily clad together in his bed.

Luke knew that he wanted Kevin to be the one to deflower him, and hopefully, he himself would deflower Kevin. Kevin's not a virgin, Luke thought. But then again, he also used to tell himself that Kevin wasn't gay.

Luke's happy grin turned to a look of strangeness and his breath became faint. He tried to speak. "Kevin," he tried to say. "I can't breathe!"

"Luke!" Kevin exclaimed. "What's happening!?"

"I can't breathe!" It felt like his throat was closing up, but from what? It was so sudden, so out of the blue. "What's wrong with me!?"

Kevin quickly pulled his cell phone out of his pants pocket and dialed 9-1-1. After giving the necessary information, he laid Luke out flat on the bed of the truck "Just try to breathe, Luke, help's coming."

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Wow, great story! I just clicked through to your blog and read the whole thing in one sitting. You've done a great job capturing the dynamics of the various relationship and also in setting up believable conflict between Luke and Kevin -- it's not contrived, it just comes from their own insecurities and doubts.

That was a really fun read! I hope you continue this story for a while.

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