So, I was supposed to go for my interview. I got all ready for it. I even blow-dryed my hair, which I never do. I went to the admissions office, and nobody was there!! I was so upset! I messed up the place! I was so disappointed that I cried, and pretty much my whole night was ruined. I couldn't even go to sleep easily because my stomach hurt so much.
This week has just been horrible. It got off so BADLY!, and it looks like it's going to end that way.
I e-mailed the interview people, though, and they were nice enough to give me another interview. I have to skip Espanol class to go to it, but I figure that I didn't want to bother them enough. Plus, Spanish is 50 minutes, and we're only going to review a stupid poem we had to read several moons ago. Granted, I'm not going to get in now. I really thought that I had a good chance of getting in, but now they're going to see that I'm unreliable and can't be trusted with prospective students. I'll probably turn them away from the college and they'll never even bother applying! A bad guide does that, and I'm bound to be a bad guide if I can't even bother to read the sign-up sheet correctly! But I really want this job, and this is probably the first time that I've wanted something and tried to get it. Usually I'm unmotivated, but this time I wasn't. And guess what happened?? It backfired on me...miserably! This new interview is just a front...it's only going to make me feel good temporarily because, no matter how well I do on it, they're still going to think I can't be trusted with this responsibility! I could be perfect at the interview, and I still won't get in. Why even bother trying??
Sometimes I wonder about myself. Like with being a History/Spanish double major. It's like...I'm not even that good at Spanish. My oral skills suck and just recently I realized that my writing and reading suck too. Non-majors do a million times better than I do. I don't understand it! But then I think about why I decided to be a major, and I guess it's because I like it and I shouldn't care about the grades. But it's the same with History. I say I love History and my History classes are always my favourites, but then I get the lowest grades in them. It doesn't make sense. It's like I'm not good at anything!
I'm supposed to talk to my History professor, but there are too many people waiting. I just don't care, and I have to go work in a half-hour.