Ms. Walsh

It's the group that gives tours around campus and helps out people who want to apply here. I didn't get the job though.

Okay, so I didn't get in. And I guess I'm a little upset about it, but I'm pretty much fine with it. I'm not even that disappointed. So I'm really proud of myself because this is the first time that I did something that I kind of knew I wouldn't get into, and I didn't freak out about it. I just read the letter and threw it out. There are plenty of better opportunities out there, like being a HONS or SAA, which requires a more personal connection with new students. Hopefully I'll get a position there. There are 4 openings, and since I don't care which one I get, I think my chances are very good. Plus, if I don't get in, I'll apply for a job as a senator or class rep. And everyone's saying how I should reapply next year, but I don't think I'm going to. I'll just be really bitter about it, and be like, "Well, you didn't let me in last year", which isn't cool. Is it wrong to actually be happy about this? I know that I'm a little upset, but overall I don't feel that bad about it. I guess it's good then. And now I'll be able to sleep in on Sunday. I have my oral presentation in a half hour. ugh. It's only three minutes, and I made a nice poster. Plus, I'm rather confident about what I'm presenting on, but I get really nervous and I'm afraid I'll black out on stuff. Umm...my Spanish sucks too, which isn't very helpful. I think from now on, I'm going to keep everything anonymous. Like, I guess I'm fine being a mediocre student here. It's not like this is an easy school, and being average actually isn't average, right?? But I hate being around people who seem perfect all the time. I think I should just give myself a break. Tonight I'm just doing History reading (which I enjoy, so it's not that bad) and then the stupid post for Women's Studies. Ciao! -Rachel

I think I have an ulcer because I always have a stomachache, and I have been stressing myself out a lot this semester. Plus, last night I took an aspirin, and it really hurt my stomach. So I don't know what I want to do about it because I'm sure that it's not too serious, but if it gets worse, I might have to go to the doctor's. Tomorrow I find out about Gold Key. I'm really nervous...more nervous than I should be. I'm sure that I didn't get in because it was way too competitive, and I'm trying to prepare myself for it. But at the same time, I don't think that I'm going to be able to handle it. I'm not good with rejection, which is why I usually don't do this kind of stuff. So now I'm not sure when I should get my mail (because I have to check it!). Maybe I should just check in the morning, and then I'll be upset for the rest of the day, but I guess I'll manage. I have my oral presentation in Spanish, so I can't check before then because then I won't be in the right state of mind to do my presentation. And I know that I'll be too nervous to wait until 2. Ugh...sometimes I hate doing this to myself.

I have another cold. Isn't that horrible? I just had a cold two weeks ago, and now I have another one. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. It was weird. Usually I'm a really heavy sleeper, but last night I kept waking up. I did get up at 8.45, which is like the earliest I've gotten up in weeks. I also did a decent amount of homework last night too, so I'm very proud of myself. I finished my problem set for Econ, and I'm rather confident about it. If I get anything lower than an 85, I'll be very upset. I also did my oral presentation for Spanish, so now all I have to do is practice it tomorrow. Then I did History reading in the evening. I did about 40 pages of reading for it. Tonight I have to do a Spanish composition and read for Women's Studies, and then maybe do some History reading. I have only 40 pages left of the book, and it isn't due until Tuesday, but we have another assignment (AND THE ESSAY!!!) that are due soon, so I'd rather get the book out of the way. Ciao! PS. I was actually good today in WS and Spanish. I participated mucho, and now I'm very feliz sobre mi situacion. See, I'm trying to get into a Spanish moda porque tengo que escribir una composicion para mi clase. My cold is...well, it's here. If it gets worse I'm going to health services to get antibiotics because this is my 2nd cold in two weeks! And I refuse to take a lot of meds because they didn't work last time. I might just have a sinus infection now, so if it progresses I'll have to do something. And I'm officially broke. I spent almost all of my dinero buying OJ, diet ginger ale, and other essentials (aka cereal and nachos and salsa). Mi vida esta muy triste.

I need to start focusing on work more because the next two weeks are going to be quite hectic. I have two papers, one paper proposal, and a mid-term all before spring break--not to mention insane amounts of other homework to complete. I hope I can survive in time for spring break. I'm too sure about that though. Today my History prof had an examination thing in class to get her tenure, so all these old men from the History dept. showed up and observed our class. I found it to be really odd. I mean, this is an all-female school, and the heads of the History deparment are all men. It's so ironic, especially since this was a Women's History class that they were observing. I guess it gives me the encouragement to continue with my History major. Though I'll probably have to take classes with these profs in the near-future. One day I'll be the head of the History Department of Smith College...and when that day happens, you know the college will be in trouble! As for the Spanish major, well...we'll see. I'm so conflicted about it because I love Spanish, but I'm not good at it! It discourages me so much. But then I think about how if I just continue taking classes and go abroad for a semester that I'll definitely get better...I'm not too confident about that though. Ugh...I need to start speaking up in my classes; otherwise, I'm bound to flunk big time! I have my oral presentation on Friday about the coup d'etat in Uruguay. It's only 3 minutes, but I'm so scared. Also, I might have the flu. I've been trying to eat more fiber (and this has nothing to do with the flu-thing) because my mom had some colon problems last month, and since now colon cancer, breast cancer, pancreatic cancer, and leukemia all run in my family, I'm uber-paranoid that I'm going to die from one of those. I think colon cancer is the most serious because my grandfather died from it when he was really young, while the others were older. Anyway, I'm also drinking OJ, but I also started drinking diet Coke again. I know...very bad. I've just been depressed after classes, and it makes me feel better. It's not like I'm on heroin or something. Plus, I think I like diet Coke because of the taste (which frankly is not that great), and not because of the caffeine.

It is 18* here, not to mention the wind which makes it feel like -40*. I've been really good about my homework. All I have to do tonight is read, read, read, read, read, read. Okay, what I don't understand is like if I say that I have a Spanish essay, isn't it implied that the essay is in Spanish?? I told someone that I was working on my Spanish essay, and then she looked at it, and was like, "Oh, it's in Spanish!" Hello!?!?! Why wouldn't it be in Spanish?? I mean, if it were an Intro. class and we have an essay in English, that's one thing. But I'm not in an Intro. class. We read short stories, poems, and essays in Spanish. How would I be learning Spanish if I weren't writing it?? Some people... We had a birthday party yesterday, and now I have tonight at 7. So I didn't go to dinner. Plus, I'm kind of getting sick of these people. Oh well... Last night I went to bed at 11.30 and didn't wake up until 10.30...nice job! I must be the laziest person in the world. I can't believe that the semester is about 1/3rd done! That's insane! Spring break is 3 weeks away, and since I'm going to be uber-busy until then, it should fly by.

I had my interview. I think it was decent, but who knows? A lot of people applied for the position, and even if I did amazingly well, I still might not get it. If I don't, I'll just try again next year, right? I hope that I get it because then I can be cool and show people around our lovely campus and persuade people to apply here. Wouldn't that be great?? I don't find out until the 3rd about whether I got in or not. I picked up a sheet at the Registrar's Office to declare my majors, but I read it and it was like, "Smith discourages people from double majoring" blah blah blah, but I guess it doesn't matter. I think that they're concerned about us not taking enough different classes, but I think that History and Spanish are two majors that are very flexible. Like, with the Spanish major you can take Portuguese, which I intend to do. And you can take two classes outside of the department, like an LAS course or something. Or maybe Spanish Art or something like that. And History's similar because I can take classes in the American Studies department, and I heard that you watch porn in one of the AMS classes. Very intriguing... Plus, screw Smith. Who the hell are they to "discourage" people from double-majoring? Hello, they [!@#$%^&*] offer the double-major! If they really were against it, then they wouldn't! DUH! Plus, they were like, "It doesn't help in applying to grad. schools." Well, if I apply to grad schools it'd be for History, not for Spanish. I like to have the Spanish as a basis for my History major because, even though I'm an American history major and most documents are in English, Spanish is a growing language in this country. If I were to live in a big city (which I do intend to), my Spanish proficiency will be helpful with my studies and/or job. It's not like I have two useless majors like History and Engish, or History and Philosophy. You know?? I think that History and Spanish are distinct enough to be able to double major in them, but at the same time there are a lot of similarities between the fields. Plus, when all is said and done, I love History and I love Spanish (even if I suck at it), and fiddle-dee-dee to them. Anyway, I recently discovered the 3rd floor of the library. I guess I shouldn't have slept through orientation in September, but now I've found it and it's going to be my favourite place to study. Right now I'm inthe periodicals room, which is quite fab I must say. I'm supposed to be doing my WS on abortion, but it shall wait until 2.45. The reading's not that heavy. Well, abortion is a heavy topic, but it's not that LONG, the reading. Then after work (which shall be beat because they're serving Italian food tonight...yum yum), I'm coming back to do my dreaded Spanish paper over again. BLAH!!! Entonces, tengo que hacer mas tarea de espanol porque tengo una presentacion oral este viernes (en una semana exactimente). Es sobre Uruguay porque estamos leyendo un cuento de un autor de Uruguay (no recuerdo su nombre), y mi presentacion es sobre la revolucion y el golpe de estado en el pais durante los 70. Lo siento. Estoy mas perezosa y no pongo acentos apropriados en mis palabras. Tengo un Apple (la computadora) y es muy bueno (mas mejor que PCs), pero no es bueno con otras lenguas porque poner acentos es muy complicado. No se por que. Espero que no haya un problema en el futuro porque tendre MUCHOS ensayos y composiciones en los segundos anos. See, my Spanish is bad to the bone. Hopefully a semester in Espana will improve it. If you didn't understand what I said, don't worry...it was stupid. Well, ciao. EDIT! Okay, I'm really nervous about this whole GK thing. Like, what if I don't get in??? I've heard way too many rejection stories to be content with the possibility. I mean...it's not the end of the world, but it's just making me sick thinking about getting rejected. I need to stop worrying about [!@#$%^&*] like this. If I don't get in, fine. It's not because I wasn't qualified to be a member...it's probably just because I'm a first-year and it's really competitive. Plus, I skipped Spanish to go to the interview and all afternoon I saw people from the class. I saw 3 while I was working, and one person said Hi to me!!

Next week I'm declaring my majors (History/Spanish). I know that I still have another year, but if it's official then I can take the time to calculate what classes to take. And my History professor agreed to be my advisor for that major. Actually, she suggested being my advisor, and who am I to protest?? She's going on sabbatical next year, but since (hopefully) she'll be back for my last two years I don't think it will be a big problem, especially since she'll e-mail me and I do have another advisor in the Spanish dept. Now I have to talk to my pre-major advisor, and hopefully she'll agree to be my Spanish advisor. If not, I won't declare the Spanish major until next year. The Spanish major seems easy to obtain. I have to take 244 (next semester), and two of the 250/251/260/261 combo (spring semester and fall junior semester), and then, of course, I am going JYA in the spring junior year. Also, I'm taking 2 or 3 Portuguese courses. And then senior year I have to take two 300 level classes (one first semester and one second), so it's not that bad. I'll probably get more than the major requires since I'm going JYA. As for History, I have to take 11 courses, 5 w/in the concentration (one as a seminar senior year.) So if I take 2 History classes (1 Am and 1 not) (one will be at Amherst or Hampshire, the other will probably be in the American Studies dept), and then one spring semester, and one junior fall semester. Also, I have to take one class that's not European or American History for the geography requirement. Well, I have to get to Women's Studies. Then I have my interview!!!! I'm so nervous!! After it, though, I'm going to the library to do homework until work. Ciao!

So, I was supposed to go for my interview. I got all ready for it. I even blow-dryed my hair, which I never do. I went to the admissions office, and nobody was there!! I was so upset! I messed up the place! I was so disappointed that I cried, and pretty much my whole night was ruined. I couldn't even go to sleep easily because my stomach hurt so much. This week has just been horrible. It got off so BADLY!, and it looks like it's going to end that way. I e-mailed the interview people, though, and they were nice enough to give me another interview. I have to skip Espanol class to go to it, but I figure that I didn't want to bother them enough. Plus, Spanish is 50 minutes, and we're only going to review a stupid poem we had to read several moons ago. Granted, I'm not going to get in now. I really thought that I had a good chance of getting in, but now they're going to see that I'm unreliable and can't be trusted with prospective students. I'll probably turn them away from the college and they'll never even bother applying! A bad guide does that, and I'm bound to be a bad guide if I can't even bother to read the sign-up sheet correctly! But I really want this job, and this is probably the first time that I've wanted something and tried to get it. Usually I'm unmotivated, but this time I wasn't. And guess what happened?? It backfired on me...miserably! This new interview is just a front...it's only going to make me feel good temporarily because, no matter how well I do on it, they're still going to think I can't be trusted with this responsibility! I could be perfect at the interview, and I still won't get in. Why even bother trying?? Sometimes I wonder about myself. Like with being a History/Spanish double major. It's like...I'm not even that good at Spanish. My oral skills suck and just recently I realized that my writing and reading suck too. Non-majors do a million times better than I do. I don't understand it! But then I think about why I decided to be a major, and I guess it's because I like it and I shouldn't care about the grades. But it's the same with History. I say I love History and my History classes are always my favourites, but then I get the lowest grades in them. It doesn't make sense. It's like I'm not good at anything! I'm supposed to talk to my History professor, but there are too many people waiting. I just don't care, and I have to go work in a half-hour. Whatever.

Today is Rally Day. Don't ask me what it is. It's just another one of the stupid holidays here. Since we're a private college, they don't have to give us federal holidays off (and they DON'T here!!). So in substitution for the federal holidays, we get these weird holidays off. Like instead of Labor Day, we get Mountain Day which is a day where the president of the college wakes up and annouces some random day off. It just has to be nice out and autumn. And instead of Veteran's Day, we get Otella Cromwell Day, in honor of the first African-American graduate of the college. Rally Day is the sub. for President's Day. So right now I'm at the SSC doing "research". I chose one of the oral histories because hardly anyone's written about them, so they're not well-known. It's weird, though, because I don't like to do papers on people who aren't dead. Like, what if they read this or something?? And then they'll say it's absolute [!@#$%^&*]! Maybe I should change it to Margaret Sanger...but I really like having videos to watch since the reading can be two-dimensional. This morning, I woke up at 9.30 and went to the mall to buy ink for my printer (which works, thank god). Then I trekked to Amherst to go to Newbury Comics. I bought two DVDs and a CD (and spent the rest of my gift cards ), and then went to Starbucks and got a coffee...and now I'm so sick. I'm so nervous though. I have my Gold Key interview this evening, and I can't handle it!!!! What if I don't get it??? I know I got a connection in, but still...what if I blow my interview??!!!??? I guess it would be for the best. GK is a big responsibility and a bad guide can make people not apply here. OH, and my CD player STILL doesn't work!! At least I got my printer and word processor set up, but still... :( !!! I just sent it in!! I'm going to wait until spring break, though, to return it because I really do need my laptop for school right now. I also need to save up some money for spring break because we're going to Boston and NYC. It's going to cost about $40 for the bus trip to NYC, and $12 for the train ticket to Boston, and then I'll have to have spending money, so maybe $100-$150?? And I'm getting my period!! UGH! I need to try to stay positive though...I need to do well on this interview!

My laptop is back and in perfect order, which is fab. For the past two days, I was really hating my life. I can't explain why, and I kind of don't want to delve into it right now. I guess it was because I wasn't taking care of myself. I know that academics are important, especially here, but in the long run, they really aren't if they're going to conflict with my well-being. It's all good now though! Tonight I'm catching up on ATWT and tomorrow we don't have classes (WOO-HOO!), so I'm venturing to the mall to buy printer ink, and then I'm going to the Sophia Smith Collection to do research for history. I think I'm going to enjoy doing this paper. The SSC is an amazing archive of women's history that uses primary sources like letters, magazines, photos, etc. to explain the lives of important women in the country. I'm going to use their new "oral histories" collections that were completed only mere months ago. Basically, instead of having to write their lives down, women were interviewed on camera about significant life events. Some of the interviews are 23 hours long. I think I will want a job at the SSC! I'm going to apply to a job there, the libraries, and the rare book room because that's the place that stores the Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf archives. Well, that's all for now! I'm so hungry, so I'm going to dinner!! CIAO!

I sent my computer in to get fixed because the CD player broke. It's already 10 PM and I haven't accomplished as much homework as I would have liked. All I have to do, though, is History and Economics work (the History is due on Thursday, btw), and then watch a movie for Women's Studies on Sunday. So it's not too bad. I think all this extra work is not going to accomplish anything in the end. I should be happy being a B student, I guess. It's not as if this is an easy school. Bs are good grades here, but I get frustrated by other people who don't seem to do as much work and get As. It sucks. I'm seriously working off my butt here. Did I tell you about the Reunion job?? Well...I think I did. I also applied for a job giving tours and overnight stays for prospective students. I hope I get this because it looks like a lot of fun. Today I got in a fight with someone about abortion. I feel bad because I guess I'm "too liberal" and this girl was "too religious." Anyway, I watched this Frontline special, and I think it's pretty good. Here it is: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/tw...h/abortion.html Mary and I are going to NYC and Boston for spring break. It should be a lot of fun. I haven't been to NYC in over 2 years, and I last went to Boston on November. As far as classes in the future, there are definitely some fun ones at Amherst and Hampshire. I'm going to take two History classes, Spanish, and Math...maybe. I want one of the History classes to be at A or H.

1. I'm staying in the house. at myself for constantly changing my mind. 2. I don't think I commented on seeing the Vagina Monologues on Saturday, so I will now. It was really good...I'm surprised because it was a lot funnier than I thought it would be. The funny parts were REALLY funny and the sad parts were REALLY sad. I felt bad for the men in the audience, though, in one scene (the funniest one I think), the first words the woman says are, "I love vaginas" and the audience starts laughing and this one random guy yells out, "Yeah!" So weird. Anyway, I have to write a paper on it for extra credit for my History class. Ciao.

So... I'm definitely moving. I think it's for the best. I've been contemplating this for several days, and there are times when I feel like I shouldn't be doing this...but overall I think it's the safer option. And who knows? I might move back senior year. I just think that it will better to live somewhere else and not have to explain to someone why I'm doing certain things. Like I can't even do homework on Fridays and Saturdays in the room because it's just impossible, so I have to go to the library. And not having to care about when another person wakes up and goes to bed. Maybe this is a bad sign, like that I shouldn't get married or something...but I think I've already decided not to get married anyway. Plus, it's not happening for another 10 years at least. I'm nervous about room draw, though, but I'm sure that I'll get a single because I'll just pick houses with a lot of them. Also, I think I'm getting a cold.

Okay, I woke up at 9.30 today to go to the library to do my homework (and will probably do the same tomorrow). Oh, it gets better. Last night (Friday, mind you) I went to the library at 8 until 11 doing Women's Studies and internship research. I swear, I must be the world's biggest loser because who the hell wastes away her weekend doing school work?? I'm on a procrastination break right now until 1, but I'm hoping to finish my Women's Studies (one more articulo!!) and History by 3.30-4ish so I can go make my bed, shower, and do some laundry (because I'm on my last pair of underwear.) Anyway, I'm getting nervous about this housing lottery. I'm like 95% sure that I'm going to request another house, but I'm still scared. What if I get the last pick for my class?? I mean, someone has to be last, so it might be me!! And then I'm going to get put in the nasty houses!!! This is terrible! But I am really looking forward to living in a single, especially since my roommate is leaving me next semester!! All of the houses in the Quad are pretty, so I'm hoping that it will work out for the best. This is the house that I'm aiming to get put into: and then these are a few others: and this the house that I currently live in: isn't it so cute?? Sometimes I wonder why I'm even thinking of doing this!! I'm also applying for a job working Reunion (after finals in May), and playing servant to wealthy Smith alumnae for two weeks...but I get paid $800+ and get free board (living in a Smith house obviously...probably my own) which is sweet. I have to write an essay explaining why I want to be a worker!?!? How messed up is that? But I think I have a good chance of getting it because I do have work experience and I have a job on-campus. So hopefully they'll let me in. I hope they'll accept me because I really want to work, and maybe Gloria Steinem will attend because she's an '56 so it'd be her 50th year reunion!! Wouldn't that be fab if I got to meet her???? Also, I hate to say this, but I'm already looking into classes for next semester. We do have to register in March, which is not that far away!! Obviously, there will be a Spanish class, maybe a Math class??, a History class, and Women's Studies or some other elective class that hopefully I'll be able to take at Hampshire or Amherst. One of my friends is taking this Biology class for non-majors at Hampshire on animal behavior and it looks fascinating! We're plotting what classes to take, so we can take one together at another school. Okay, must go back to work! --Au revoir!

I've been scoping around for internships so that I won't have to return to the simple life during the summer. There were some great opportunities, like this internship with a travel guide company that's in Prague; however, one of the essay questions was what my last travelling experience was and what I learned from it. Thus, that one was scraped very quickly. But then there's one working for P&G in NYC, and I'm definitely going to apply because that would mean working for ATWT! Seriously, I think I have a good chance because I am a student at a prominent college and I just happen to be a devoted soap opera fan. The job also states that I'd have to work on pgpphoto.com which I already know and I'd have to alert all the soap mags about upcoming storylines and previews!! Isn't that awesome?? I think this is the ideal internship. As for spring break, I'm thinking about doing something like volunteering in New Orleans or something, like with abandoned animals maybe. I don't know...I guess it's better than schlepping it around the house doing nothing, but that's probably what I'll do anyway since I'll definitely be needing a break from all this homework though. See, this is the downside to not being a co-ed and being able to take a vacation in Cancun and wind up on MTV's Spring Break or, better, Girls Gone Wild. I also think that I will put my name in the housing lottery. I'm going to pick 3 or 4 houses in the Quad and 1 or 2 houses on Green Street...all of which have dining with every meal. And I'm definitely going to be looking at getting a single, which is why the Quad is more efficient. Okay, here's how it stacks up: The house that I currently live in has 25 singles and 23 doubles. The only people who get singles are juniors and seniors. House A has 41 singles and 14 doubles House B has 21 singles and 16 doubles House C has 58 singles and 9 doubles House D has 61 singles and 13 doubles House E has 74 singles and 0 doubles So I think my chances in these houses (maybe not house B as much, so that will probably be my last choice) are better at getting a single. Again, I should have gone ahead with ResLife, but I guess it will all work out in the end...hopefully. I'm seriously going to take a class at Hampshire or Amherst next semester. I'd rather take it at Amherst because Hampshire kids tend to be really hippy-dippy and don't shower. But Hampshire offers "alternative" classes, which could be a lot more interesting. Tomorrow I'm going to the Vagina Monologues, which has gained a lot of hype on campus. There was a debate between the play's producers and the Smith Republicans. I attended the debate, and the Reps did SO poorly. I mean, they were clearly in the minority anyway, but this one girl kept saying the STUPIDEST things. I can't even remember them, but trust me...they were pathetic! I felt really bad! And I might be working in the vegetarian/vegan house now. Okay, it is sooooooooooo boring there because nobody shows up, but it's the only other dining hall that looks like it has a decent staff. All the "too cool for school" WS majors go to the other v/v house, so I'll just be sitting there eating tofu burgers. But I have come to the conclusion that hummus is amazing! If I had the time and the money, I would go downtown tomorrow and buy some. Also, I did eat at the v/v house this afternoon because I was craving soup and they were serving cream of broccoli...and it was DELICIOUS!!!!! Okay, that's it. CIAO!

So now my roommate wants to do the semester at sea! Oy vey! It's all fine though...I can live with an open double. But I'm still contemplating a move to the Quad. We'll see what happens. Also, I'm on a mission to steal a punch bowl from the dining room I work in. I'm freaking out about getting caught.

Life is good...now at least. Classes are really interesting. I absolutely love my History class, and I'm kind of bummed that I'll only have to take 3 more to get the minor. But I'm sure that it's just because of the material we're covering. It's not like a typical History class, but more like a combination of History and Literature. Today we were watching the Disney movie Pocahontas and I was suprised about how differently I view the movie from when I was a little kid. There are just so many aspects of the movie that made me upset because obviously they were just playing on stereotypes and, while they were giving somewhat of a historical accurancy to the movie, mostly what they were showing was just myth and not truth. Spanish is interesting. I talk a lot more in this class than I did in the previous one, which is good. I like Women's Studies. A few of the pieces have been a bit heavy to grasp, but I find that this is a class that everyone should take in her life. I mean, it just gives a better understanding of what it is to be a woman. And, yes, there is that sort of radical lesbian mantra in it, but it's not dominating our entire discussions and readings. Economics is good, but it's so complicated. I'm doing this problem set and I have absolutely no idea how to do one of the questions. Obviously, I was just not meant to be a math major. There's also this problem with the rooming. So, this other girl wants to room with my roommate next year, so basically it would mean I wouldn't have a roommate next year. Now, I know this girl and I guess I'm friends with her, but now I just don't even want to talk to her because I don't think it's fair that she's doing this to me. I'm not even going to talk with her anymore, which is going to be rough since we're in the same WS class. And granted, my roommate could say no, but chances are she'll say yes and I know I'm going to get upset about it. I mean...I'm already upset about it and nothing's happened yet. I'm the person who started crying when my first roommate told me she wanted to move out, and we hated one another (and I was the one who wound up moving.) I just think it's not fair to me because I already had a roommate issue in the beginning of the year that did not go smoothly at all and, honestly, I don't think that I can risk going through another situation like that, and I had intended on running for HONS and SAA of the house (or Sophomore Class Council), and if I decide not to be in the house, then I can't do that. So I think I'm just going to have to move out of the house and try to get a single in the Quad. I think I'm going to talk to ResLife and maybe the HP, though she'll insist on staying in the house. I don't really like this idea, but that's what's going to happen I guess. Now I regret not applying to ResLife... Having a single will be nice, but I'm afraid I'll get lonely and nobody will talk to me. But having an open double (or worse, sharing it w/ someone I don't like) would absolutely suck.

My birthday has been fabulous! I'm really happy because I was bugging out about the fact that this is my first b-day away from my family. But it's turned out to be one of my best! Last evening we went out to dinner. We had some pizza at this amazing restaurant. I love the fact that I go to a college that's in an awesome town. There are so many "hidden gems" here that I have yet to experience. Anyway, the girl that I mentioned in the last entry showed up...but I'm glad that she did. I now realize that it's wrong to exclude people, especially one single person. From now on, I'm going to be nice to her and not make her feel excluded. I mean, she can be annoying, but it's just rude to intentionally exclude someone. Anyway, the pizza was great. We ordered two large pizzas: one was a margarita pizza, which everyone likes, and then a chicken pesto which was really good as well. Then we went to this awesome ice cream parlour, which I had never been too...which is sacrilegious for a person at my school, I guess. I had a type of ice cream that's called "Emerald City": it's vanilla ice cream with green jimmies and pieces of Andes chocolate. It was delicious! Then we went to my friend's room in the Quad. (which looks exactly like a hotel...I kid you not! It's got elevators, perfect bathrooms and the rooms are spotless, unlike my house which is more homey and lived-in and has trippy 60s psychedelic flowered wallpaper in the bathroom .) We watched Live Flesh, which is, of course, a Spanish-language film. It was good, but very weird...as those types of movies usually are. Then today, while I was at brunch, Steph and her friend decorated our room. They said that they were working on Physics and that they'd join us for brunch, but I should have known that they were being sneaky and that nobody in her right mind would wake up early on Sunday to do homework...at least not until after brunch! But the room looks AMAZING! It's so cool. I wish I had my digital camera here because I'd take photos. We're keeping it up until the end of the month because a lot of people in the house--including Steph--have birthdays in February. So now I'm going to have to figure something out for Steph's birthday, which is on Valentine's Day. I think I'm going to go to Target on Friday or Saturday to buy stuff to make cupcakes and then buy something at Newbury Comics because I have gift cards from there. There's one in Amherst, which I have yet to go to. For dinner today, they were serving Superbowl food at the dining halls. I'm not complaining about it, but it's quite interesting that they decide to celebrate the Superbowl at an all-female college where I doubt only 10% of the population is actually watching the Superbowl instead of doing homework. It is Sunday evening after all. Nonetheless, the food was really good. We went to the healthy-options dining hall, and ate nachos with reduced fat cheese and baked chicken wings. It's justifiable in my opinion. And the evening will conclude with an oh-so-fun house meeting @ 9. Looking forward to that! As for birthday presents, I got a lot of cards and Steph baked a cake that we have yet to eat. I also got this beautiful bag from one of my friends who lives in India. It's like the perfect bag because I really like totes, and this one is like a tote bag but it zips up which is even better! And the homework situation is decent. Okay, I did the most loserish thing and actually went to the library to do homework on Friday. But...it worked out really well because now I'm done with my homework for tomorrow and Tuesday, and I'm actually working on a Spanish oral presentation that's not due until March 3rd!! Insane, right?? So I think that I'm just going to do homework on Fridays now because, let's face it, I have nothing better to do, and if it means looking like a nerd, then well...too bad. I'm in college and my job is to do well in school, so it will all work out in the end. Also, I think I'm going to just go for a Spanish major and maybe a History minor. I love History and all, but the major would be pretty useless. Plus, then I'll have time to take classes outside of the major and minor, whereas double-majoring wouldn't allow that. Well, that's all for now. I should get back to work ASAP! Ciao!

So tomorrow's my birthday. I'm not looking forward to it. I mean, it's all downhill from here. 18 was a good birthday, but what's so amazing about 19?? NOTHING! And I don't care about 21 either because I don't drink and I don't care about being able to gamble in casinos. I'm going out tonight with a few friends. I'm kind of ashamed of myself, though, because I purposely didn't invite this one girl...maybe I should though. The problem is that she really annoys me, but she's good friends with my roommate, and by association, that's how I know her. And I feel bad because with all of us going out, she won't have anyone to have dinner with. Oh well...I'm not worrying about it. Anyway, I did a lot of homework today, which is good. The only thing I have to do is read 5 pages for Econ and an essay for History, but they're not due until Tuesday so, realistically, I have a lot of time.

I was in a bad mood today. I act like such a bitch sometimes. I'm surprised that my roommate is so nice to me. Oh well...I'm better now. Classes are great, but the work is unbearable! I'm off the art library (with the nice comfy chairs!!!) to do some major Spanish and WS reading. Then I have to go work. Guess what? I only got a measly 4 hours of work study. I'm working Thursdays and Fridays doing dishes, and then Mondays I'm a "runner" which looks daunting. Basically, you just serve the food and make sure that everything full and that ther's enough food, plates, silverware, etc. I'm scared about it though. So my friend and I are going to be working at Northrop, the vegan/vegetarian house. The problem, though, is that nobody shows up to Northrop because they all go to the other veggie house nearby...so it's going to be so boring, but what am I supposed to do? I need the money. I hooked up my VCR in like the matter of 5 seconds. I'm proud of my accomplishment. Now I'm going to start taping ATWT, which will be nice because then I'll have the videos to keep and cherish for the rest of my life. Ciao!

Classes have been good. I have so much homework, though, which is why I cannot update all the time now. I also can't watch my soaps, which is sad...but I'm going to start taping them next week so I won't fall behind. I also have a stomach virus, and it was freaking me out last night. I almost had a nervous breakdown, which is not fun because it's only the 4th day of classes and I can't be stressing myself out about stuff already. That's all.

Today was the first day of classes, and I'm already slacking off. Nice one Rachel!! My classes today were really good. Women's Studies looks like it's going to be a lot of fun, yet there's a lot of work involved. I'm really excited about the class though. The lecture today made me happy to have a vagina! There was one guy in the class though. I'm definitely not going to get much rest this semester though! There are like 100 people signed up the class, and as usual, there's a bunch of stupid bitches in it. But that doesn't matter. Spanish was great too. My professor is amazing. She's from Spain, so she was telling us about how she always uses the vosotros form, even though we don't have to. And she talks really fast, which is good since I understood most of it. Finally I'm in a Spanish class that's actually going to be interesting! It took me almost 6 years to get through all the grammar crap. From now on, my classes are going to involve actual Spanish novels, short stories, and learning about the different cultures in Latin America and Spain. Tomorrow's History and Economics. Looking forward to them. They fixed our heater. Hopefully, it will start functioning properly. I still think there's a ghost in it though. We watched this show on the Discovery Channel today, during lunch, about a woman who was causing a poltergeist in her house...it was so scary. I seriously think that there's a ghost in here because there's always tapping coming from inside the wall...like RIGHT NOW! It's scary because it's on my side of the room, right near my desk, where I am currently! Well, I have a ton of work already! Ciao PS. I finished my work. I drank this weird vitamin concotion that's supposed to help you concentrate, and it actually worked really well...after an hour or so.