I think the status and power issue was present regardless of the actress. Mindy was the child of her business enemy Billy, as well as the step-daughter of her romantic rival Vanessa. And, as noted, Alex was sophisticated enough to know not to blame the mistress when a husband strays.
It would be like Roger Thorpe going after Ben Reade or Josh Lewis getting into a beef with A.J. Chamberlain, it would have been beneath them and broken the inter-generational code of civility on soaps.
Roger Howarth was a breath of fresh air as Paul on ATWT. The guy he replaced was so wooden in the role. I feel every soap needs a good share of "scenery chewers" to keep things vibrant and lively. Not too many at once, but a balance.
I also think RH's Paul fit better as Barbara's son as she was written in a far campier, over-the-top style ever since Hogan Sheffer came on. Much like Tom Pelphery was perfect as Kim Zimmer's son on GL as they had similar OTT acting styles and it made sense on screen.
I can see what your saying with Carly and the character trajectory has changed for her. I just see them almost as two different characters, but that sometimes happens when a character is on screen for so long. I find that SJB's Carly was so insecure she made awful choices, but LW's Carly is very confident. Again, it's probably just character changes over the years, but she's less vulnerable than SJB for sure. LW just lacks something SJB had that was more rootable as the scrappy underdog which Carly isn't anymore. BUT I like LW and she saves the character of Carly for me when I generally wouldn't be a fan since I am so pro-Brenda.
I don't think any of those female characters were big losses, but it seemed at the time if they weren't immediately a big hit GH just dropped them. Characters like Carly/Brenda need time to develop and I am not saying any of them were even in that potential, but it was like one failed pairing-bye!
She drops the urn and the ashes fall. Actually she might knock it over and freaks out, but I would have to re watch the scenes. It's been awhile. I just remember her screaming at Sonny A LOT
Here it is. She does throw the ashes at Sonny lol.