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By Nelson Branco

Irizarry returns to ‘AMC’! Is Cady McClain next? And is Alicia Minshew out? Newsflash: Ellen Wheeler will save soaps! Be very afraid… Plus: Phil Carey is back as Asa on ‘OLTL’!

QUOTE FROM A GODDESS:

“I can’t really say. I will be there a while longer and then we’ll see. As I say, it’s in my daughter’s tiny little hands.”

—Andrea Evans (Tina, OLTL) responds to Soap Opera Digest’s question asking how long she plans on staying in Llanview. P.S. Can someone please explain to me why I love this woman so much? And why I still don’t believe she’s back on OLTL due to criminal artistic misconduct.

All My Children, A/ABC — Another casting win for ABC: “Lujack” returns; Minshew out?

• Out-scooped again! Damn Fridays! So as everyone’s heard already, Vincent Irizarry is returning to AMC as David Hayward this fall. I stumbled upon the news earlier this week, but I made a deadly error by calling ABC for a confirmation on Wednesday, and surprise, the next morning it was on SOAPnet.com. A coincidence? Probably, but whatever — I’m just psyched Lujack is back in PineField to hang out with Gus and Harley. In fact, if I were Chuck Pratt Jr., other than undergoing a massive makeover, I would indulge in a Jake/Taylor/David love triangle just to piss off CBS and P&G/TeleNext.

So back to Irizarry: Insiders tell me, “Vincent didn’t come cheap, but they’re over the moon he’s back.” Well, duh! Also, there are rumblings that Cady McClain could come back either down the road or with David in tow. So, I think I figured out a convenient yet plausible way to bring Dixie back from pancake hell. Ready? With some creative re-tooling Pratt could reveal Dixie and David capitalized on the serial killings to whisk La Cooney away from the insane hell known as Tad and Adam because she had reunited with David off-screen. Or something like that. Details can be easily worked out. In reel life? David returns to seek revenge on Tad. Let’s not and say we did unless, of course, Dixie’s back, but if not, I’d pair David with Erica in a Genoa City minute.

• It’s not smooth sailing for Alicia Minshew (Kendall). She’s currently embroiled in intense contract negotiations. What’s the issue? I am told money is the primary hurdle (after all, ABC assumes she doesn’t eat, right?). So if talks stall, who do I think could replace Minshew as daytime’s former hot-mess badass? Tamara Braun (ex-Ava, Days; ex-Carly, GH) would make a fierce, three-dimensional recast. Braun would not only kick some major ass, but she’d also take down some names. And win an Emmy to boot! ABC doesn’t comment on contract negotiations. Look for the outcome to appear on SOAPnet.com.

• As I exclusively reported ages ago, AMC is finally confirming breakout star Yaya DaCosta (Cassandra) is leaving the soap on Aug. 20. Their loss.

• Elizabeth Rodriguez (Carmen) is loved, loved, loved by the idiots in charge. So don’t be surprised if she signs a long-term contract soon. Me? Love her, but she does need an acting coach because she breaks more moments than Ellen Wheeler. But she’s a breath of fresh air, and I am a fan. And if she hones her craft she could be the next Jill Larson (Opal).

As The World Turns, Global/CBS — Dumbest PR move ever?

• Unbelievable! Remember when Perez Hilton “outed” an ATWT star on his titular website? Well, once again the TeleNext publicity department continues to shock and awe with their hypocrisy. This past week, the TeleNext geniuses bought a full-page ad on the gossip website (with the lukewarm Aaron and Ali pairing no less; yeah, that’ll force people to watch —not!). Perez and I are pals, so when I called the celebrity blogger up, he didn’t know if it was CBS or P&G/TeleNext who bought the ad because his advertising cronies dealt with the transaction. As for outing “that” star, Hilton defends himself by saying: “I didn’t out anyone. I reported the facts. The fact is he’s gay. He’s in a happy relationship. And they’re very happy.” OK, then. Although I choose not to out people without their cooperation (I’m the go-to guy in Canada anyway, so I’m busy as it is), I also don’t think there is anything insulting about being called gay. We out straight people all the time. Having said that, I know in America it’s an entirely different situation than the rest of the world. So I choose not to. So back to P&G/TeleDUH: You’d think the rocket scientists over there would at least promote Noah and Luke on this very gay friendly site. Or promote their shirtless hunks like Dylan Bruce (Chris) or EP Christopher Goutman.

• Nell Mooney, winner of some reality show called Wrong Turn, begins her 13-week prize in a contract role in September. Good luck, girlfriend!

The Bold and the Beautiful, CTV/CBS — Tom gets Ugly!

• My old Bauer Publishing pal, Entertainment Weekly’s Michael Ausiello (we used to news-direct Soaps In Depth, and Soap Opera Update, respectively) is reporting that Heather Tom is getting her ugly on, Betty-style. According to Ausiello, “She'll play a State Department liaison to Daniel's long-lost son in at least three episodes. I'm going to venture a guess that Daniel Sr. will want to, ahem, liaise with her as well.” TV Guide.ca recently named Tom, one of The 21 Most Influential Players in daytime and we think she’s done us proud. Well, except for the whole Katie thing.

• Is B&B planning to kill off soap’s horniest old fox ever, Eric Forrester? Hell to the no, bitches. In fact, my sugar daddy John McCook recently re-signed with the show.

• If Susan Flannery (Stephanie) is not back on the front burner, I will delete B&B from my DVR. And I’m not joking, people (in fact, I almost hope they don’t so I can save a half-hour a day in my life).

Days of our Lives, Global/NBC — Hart-less wonder!

• Marshall Hilliard (the worst Hart recast ever on GL) has been cast as a cop named Dylan. He airs Sept. 2 and 3.

• This had to have been a casting dream for Days: On Aug. 20, Davide Schiavone airs as “young” Stefano. He better be fierce is all I’m sayin’ because Joe Mascolo is badass.

General Hospital, CTV/ABC — Noelle Beck who? The most beautiful woman on soaps is back — and it’s about time!

• Congratulations to GH’s worst actor, Rick Springfield (Noah Drake/Eli Love). His latest CD, Venus in Overdrive, debuted at No. 28 his highest debut in over 20 years! Stop. The. Presses. So tell me again why this man is acting and not singing full time?

• Genie Francis (Laura) is my new straight wife! Gorgeous, much? The Emmy winner is on the cover of this week’s Soap Opera Digest and Genie has never looked better or sexier. Pick up the new issue immediately. Best quote? “I could have spent those years so much happier,” she says with regret. Yes, she’s talking about her struggle with weight loss and how it has inspired her to live more freely now, but I like to think there’s a healthy dose of subtext drowning in that quote. Read: if Bob Guza was no longer GH’s head writer.

General Hospital: Night Shift, SOAPnet/DirecTV — Suds Flash: Antonio Sabato is hot as hell!

• DirecTV will be airing episodes of Night Shift on channel 101 on Mondays at 2 p.m. ET beginning Aug. 11. Then they’ll cancel it and take your cash like they did with Passions. So what does a Canadian brother have to do to get NS in Canada? Doesn’t ABC/SOAPnet want to make some real revenue in international distribution?

Guiding Light, Global/CBS — Is Josh out? Also: best spin ever — not!

• Although I heard GL thought about recasting the role of Rafe when he was temporarily shipped out of town to help save face during the Beth Ehlers (Harley) fiasco, E.J. Bonilla is back on Aug. 18. Look for Rafe to interfere with the Grady-Daisy romance. And thank Andrea Evans! Anyone who thinks Kane Manera and Bonnie Dennison share an ounce of chemistry should be committed. Why are ATWT and GL intent on pairing young girls with older men?

• Another TeleNext distraction: This week’s New York Magazine published a profile on Ellen Wheeler, GL’s executive producer. The angle? Are you sitting down? Ms. Wheeler is going to save soaps, y’all! Hurray! Halleluiah! Praise Andrea Evans! Ellen Wheeler will save soaps! Seriously — that’s the story. Poor Gloria Monty! Why didn’t New York profile Ron Carlivati, soap’s real saviour, instead? Or the janitor at ABC? Yes, the show has vastly improved under the leadership of one million head writers, but if you think a few digital cameras and a religious agenda will save an entire industry, then you’re as crazy as Rev. Phelps, sister! Actors should act — period. Leave the complicated stuff to professionals, please and thank you.

• Stop the presses: Robert Newman (Josh) is leaving daytime forever. And he’s not welcomed back — ever! Or so Soap Opera Digest would have us believe in their cover’s inset story this week. The truth? Newman is merely performing in a production of Shenandoah at the Barn Theater in Augusta, Mich., until Aug. 17. Big whoop!

• Insiders at GL confirm producers are indeed recasting the role of Shayne Lewis. My choice? Eric William Morris (ex-Matt, ATWT). Or Victoria Rowell (ex-Dru, Y&R). Now all they have to do is cast Martha Madison (ex-Belle, Days) as a bitchy Marah Shayne, and maybe this show will boast a talented younger cast.

• Soap Opera Digest is suggesting Emmy [gulp] nominee Nicole Forester (Cassie) may be leaving Springparks. Um, can I get that in writing please?

Imaginary Bitches, YouTube.com — Bitchin’ season finale preview!

• Should Imaginary Bitches’ executive producer Andrew Miller start running a talent agency on the side? “It seems that Hollywood casting directors are realizing their jobs could be a lot easier if they just turn to IB for ideas,” says Miller.

Want proof, imaginary bitches?

*As previously reported Sam Page (ex-Trey, AMC; Riley, Imaginary Bitches) will appear on the AMC smash hit Mad Men this season with fellow Bitches guest star Aaron Staton (Bruce).

*Jessalyn Gilsig (Jessalyn) will be returning to NBC's biggest hit to launch this decade, Heroes, for seven episodes this fall. Gilsig will reprise her role as bio-mom to Claire Bennett, a.k.a. The Cheerleader, played by Guidng Light and One Life to Live alum Hayden Panettiere.

*One of IB's flesh and blood fab four, Brooke Nevin (Brooke) starts work this week as a recurring character on the CBS comedy Worst Week.

*Last but not least, Chandra West (Chandra), who causes Eden to question if she likes va-jay-jay in tomorrow night's season ender, has began taping an arc on the highly-anticipated 90210 update for The CW. I hope someone tells her not to make eye contact with Shannen!

“This is all great news for IB fans, because they can watch all their favourite IB actors on network shows in the fall,” Miller tells Suds. Don't forget to watch IB's super-sized season finale this Friday night on YouTube.

—Reporting by daytimeconfidential.com’s Jamey Giddens

Life In General, StrikeTV.Com — Karen Harris is a soap goddess, generally

• Veteran soap writer Karen Harris (if you don’t know what she’s written, Google her because I don’t do anyone’s homework; OK, I do — General Hospital and Night Shift for starters) has created and written a sensational and groundbreaking web show titled Life In General. What are you waiting for, biatches — check it out here, people!

One Life to Live, A/ABC — Phil Carey returns… again!

• My other sugar daddy Phil Carey is back on Aug. 19 to make peace with Beau-licious Balsom. Please let this be the end of complex daddy bitches? Really, because I’m done; how about you?

• A Martinez (Ray Castillo) first airs is Sept. 10. That’s hot.

• Zzzzz… Ashley Wilkens, the real-life teen mother who works directly with The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, will appear as an assistant to Starr’s obstetrician. Stop the presses: apparently giving up your baby for adoption merits a guest-starring TV spot! What do Holocaust survivors get? Or people with AIDS? There is something known as overkill.

Scripts and Scruples, iTunes — Divas only need apply!

• Next week on the show: Everyone's having a gay old time. Henry (Jack Finigan Davis) unleashes his inner bitch on Blake's sister, Teri (Anne Sayre). Casey (Tom Baran) has a man from the past he doesn't want to return (casting alert!), and shares an awkward moment with his one night stand, Matt. Also, creator/writer/star Roger Newcomb (welovesoaps.com) hints big casting news is in the offing, diva-style!

The Young and the Restless, Global/CBS — Hogan Sheffer is the new soap god!

• Daniel sleeps with that hair model Colleen this week! But you know what? I still love the Amber-Daniel love story. God bless co-head writer Hogan Sheffer! Me loves Maria Arena Bell, but there’s no denying Sheffer’s in the house, ‘yo! B&B chief Bradley Bell is a fool for not stealing Hoagie after Days fired him. Sheffer could have saved B&B — without even breaking a sweat. And the Emmy goes to…

• This just in: Cane and Lily are the daytime equivalent to Sherri Shepherd and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Sorry, but it’s true. Marry Chloe? Seriously? Kill me now. Folks, this is why Drucilla needs to be back so she can yell Lily back to reality.

SOAP OPERA MYSTERY HOUR: THIS WEEK’S HOTTEST BLIND ITEMS

• Which black female star refuses to be paired with a black love interest?

• Which gay superstar, who is married with kids, thinks he/she runs his/her soap and also foolishly believes he/she has them all fooled? In fact, everyone he works with knows this person is the biggest diva and fraud on the show. And network, for that matter.

• Which soap journalist suggests a swanky restaurant for an interview and then stiffs the star with the bill?

tvguide.ca

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I think he was probably joking. CG's looking more and more skeletal these days from what I understand. He was probably pulling a "Dorian DiMera/Stefano Marone" type-joke. I can't tell what's real and what's a quip anymore in his write-ups! LOL!

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Who recently posted an Edge of Night clip with Goutman as Psycho? I think it was Roger Newcomb.

Yup, here it is. So I must be like in a funny mood or something, because I consider him all kinds of hotness in this.

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